You may enter the sporadic mind of Lisa Zeng but only just this once. At first, I thought about writing something inspiring but I don’t know who is reading this and I couldn’t think of how to cater my story to you. I’m also not an expert in advice-giving nor am I in a position to be giving some. So perhaps I should write a story of my parents and how much their hardships mean to me instead, or a tale of my siblings and how much I appreciate their guidance, maybe even an anecdote about my close friends who have truly taught me how to laugh unabashedly. I also thought about writing about my brother’s dog, Shellie, who I love but I thought I would just include a picture of her instead. As I was going through these different topics in my head, I thought, wow, I really am as indecisive as my friends have described. So screw it, I’ll just go with the flow and write what I’m feeling. If you’ve made it this far, you could probably guess that I’m an over-thinker and you would be right. Some of you could relate, we are the ones that take hours to gather up our thoughts before getting started on essays, which is why I prefer science and mathematics. Or you can just own up to it and call it procrastination. True fact, I’ve never dated. Each time I’ve come close to saying yes or asking someone out, I chicken out at the last minute because I’ve realized that I’m much more afraid of him saying yes, rather than facing rejection. The point is, I spend too much time thinking about the process, the what if’s, and I’ve become too comfortable with my self-procured safety bubble that I often don’t take the risk. -“It’s better to shit your pants than die of constipation”. My freshman self thought I would have it all figured out by senior year, including what I wanted to study and what career path I wanted to build, but I still don’t know. I do have plans to take a gap year after I graduate to explore the healthcare field and test the waters rather than dive right into it. I will probably never have it all figured out, there will be another obstacle but thinking of it as a challenge instead is what helps me make a difference in my way of thinking and outlook on life. If you try to imagine a life without timekeeping you probably can’t. I have a planner, alarm, set notifications on my phone. But we are the only ones that measure time, a dog doesn’t fret over deadlines. And because of this, we fear time running out. I’m slowly coming to terms that it’s okay if my goals and plans are delayed; I have a whole lifetime ahead of me to enjoy it all. -- Lisa Zeng
Posted on: Tue, 27 Jan 2015 04:45:39 +0000
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