You might want to grab a cup or glass of something because this may go on for awhile. I woke up at 4am to get ready to go have my port put in. Knowing the hour would be early, I prepared my gratitude list before going to bed last night so I only had to post it this morning. I also send out 3 daily thoughts Monday thru Friday. The topics vary each day. Let me know if you want to be added. There goes my ADD again. Focus Karen, focus!!! The gentleman that checked me in is a graphic designer. We had a great chat and he told me his daughter’s room was all purple and showed me pictures. It was so beautiful. I wish I could afford to hire him to do my bedroom. It was modern, creative and different shades of purple. The team that prepped me for the surgery were awesome. I met the man that helped me last Friday when I needed an anesthesiologist. He was totally hot, tall and very married. That is the story of my life. He made me feel very special. WARNING!!! I am jumping around. When I went to do my arm stretching exercise this morning it didn’t hurt at all. Last night I couldn’t even put my arms arounds someones was when we closed the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. It went straight up the wall with no pain…I immediately felt like Gd was telling me that he was taking that pain and making room for the port and eventual chemo treatments. He was telling me “see Karen, I am not going to give you more than you can handle”. What a great way to start the day. I wasn’t at all nervous going for the port 2 of the nurses and the receptionist were wearing purple. The flowers in the picture in my room were purple as well. A coincidence…I think not!!! When the nurse practitioner came in to show me what the port would look like and explain everything it was purple. I didn’t ask for that. You can just imagine my reaction. Alan and I prayed before they took me to the operating room. Of course I cried during some of the conversations, but not out of fear or sadness. Rather, I was just being me. One of the nurses was training to work in that department. We remembered each other from the kids hospital I volunteer at, or did until I got sick. I so miss going there and will get back to it as soon as I am physically able. The familiarity of seeing her was comforting even though we don’t know each other at all. The neatest thing happened after the procedure. The nurse in post-op was the same one I had after my mastectomy. She remembered me based on something we apparently discussed that I have no recollection of and my purple nails. It really made me feel special since that was 27 days ago and Gd knows how many patients she has seen since then. We had a really nice chat and she took very good care of me. I came home and basically slept most of the afternoon. I’m not in pain, just feel tightness in my chest. What a shock! They put an incision in my chest, stuck a purple something in there with tubing and sewed it up. I’m taking antibiotics. I was originally scheduled to start chemo on April 2nd. I got a call this afternoon to change my chemo class to tomorrow and saying my chemo starts Thursday. I told the lady that unless there is a medical reason that I have to start this week, my preference was to go to the NA convention this weekend and start next week. Emotionally and spiritually I will be in much better shape if I can attend. She is going to let me know tomorrow when I go over there. I haven’t prayed for many specifics, but I really pray I can attend GRCNA. It would be pretty devastating if that didn’t work out. On a positive note, you have all been so supportive and loving yet again. I pray you never have to know how it feels to receive all this love for the reason I do. Oh, I forgot to mention that I went for a walk this evening in the neighborhood. I met a lady that is retired and a two year breast cancer thriver. She offered to help me with whatever I need since she is home all day. I got a coupon from Vistaprint this evening. I order the hat I wanted that says “No more bad hair days” as well as magnets for my car door that say “you are special so be good to yourself today”. I hadn’t thought of that until this evening when I saw them on their ad. I imagined being in a tough place and pulling up next to a car that had that on the door. Maybe it will help someone feel just a little better when reminded they are special. I am sure it will annoy the heck out of the negative folks, but I do that on a regular basis anyway, so it’s ok. Thanks for hanging in and reading my ramblings. It was a great day! The first step towards finishing up this part of my journey. I wouldn’t ask to have chemo, but I sure as heck am not going to be able to change it. The only thing I can do is “fight like a girl” and find the blessings each day. They are there, I just need to be willing to see them. Days aren’t bad, moments are less than desirable and will pass, just like the good stuff. A wise person told me a long time ago that whatever I feed grows. Today I choose to feed the blessings. I pray that attitude continues. When I pray for myself and my ever growing list of others each morning, I don’t pray for us all to get better. That may not be our path. I pray that we all have the faith, strength and courage to accept Gd’s will for us. So far so good…I pray I continue this path with that attitude. It has served me well so far. Hugs!!!
Posted on: Tue, 25 Mar 2014 00:34:36 +0000
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