Your birth month is what will kill you: JANUARY: Stabbed in the - TopicsExpress



          

Your birth month is what will kill you: JANUARY: Stabbed in the eye by Noel Edmonds FEBRUARY: Smoke inhalation from fire started by flatulent rabbits MARCH: Speared through the genitals with a javelin thrown by your mum APRIL: Run over by a G-Wiz in a cow field. MAY: Sucked off to death by a herd of goats JUNE: Suicide after having to listen to someone talk about the finer points of Senegalese legal history JULY: Bare-knuckle fist fight with David Dickinson AUGUST: Scaffold pole inserted vigorously into anus SEPTEMBER: Drowning in a sea of sailors semen OCTOBER: Poisoned by polonium slipped into ones tea by bitter ex-girlfriend NOVEMBER: DIY liposuction with a Dyson Vacuum cleaner DECEMBER: Suicide upon the realisation that God really hates you. There - its on facebook now so its going to definitely happen, because facebook has decreed it.
Posted on: Sun, 23 Mar 2014 23:56:55 +0000

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