Zac Efron, quasi-movie star, pretty boy, and former teen dream, was on Skid Row last weekend with his bodyguard and got punched in the mouth by a homeless guy. This is my open letter to the lad. Dear Zac Attack, Years ago a writer named Rudyard Kipling wrote The Jungle Book and far from your former employers cartoon version it was an allegory of survival. A passage reads, This is the the law of the jungle As old and as true as the sky The wolf that shall keep it shall prosper And the wolf that shall break it must die Did you know Axl Rose wrote Welcome to the Jungle about such neighborhoods in Los Angeles like your Skid Row? Welcome to the world millions live to survive and thrive in daily. Welcome to a place where police sirens lull your sleep and heliCOPters light your dreams. Welcome to a world where you tell between a car backfiring and a shotgun without so much as a blink as you think. Its not like I miss that world yet I will say I miss, Zac Attack (I feel we are close enough for nicknames -- ya mind?), is in this world nothing is frivolous and everything is raw. Every step and glance is measured out. You know where to go and where to avoid, where to cross which street near what streetlight. You know what alleys and houses not your own house safety. You even know which cops are safe to talk to. But you even had a bodyguard so how did you get smacked by that dude? What could you have said? Could homeless mean street dealer and you were surprised when he wouldnt kiss your ass like the equally pretty drug dealers you are used to have at your beck and call to your movie sets, your hotel rooms? Tip: celebrity drug dealers couldnt last 10 minutes against a street dealer so dont feel bad. Also probably dont mess with them. You could not have been in much danger with your big boy friend to hold your hand so call when youve had enough weaponry on you to start a museum called Street Thrills. If you are curious still this is the law of the jungle: stay out. It isnt for domesticated animals. Love, your pal..... Anna a.k.a. Miss Purdy if youre nasty
Posted on: Sun, 30 Mar 2014 18:54:54 +0000
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