among my parameters I have a brain injury and I forget a lot of things especially numbers. this is the part of me and disability that I have been the least public about. i have also had dozens of addresses in my lifetime. my address is something I have a hard time remembering. when its important I often look at my i.d. to make sure Im getting it right. this can prove to be very shaming in certain circumstances, and scary most recently when I was being issued a ticket for not paying bus fare. yeah. there was an asshole police person that wasnt loving that I didnt know my address. yeah not knowing my address can be scary to me. to suddenly not know where I live. I recently gave the wrong address for a timely thing. a delivery, and Im really bummed out about it. a birthday present. Im horrible at surprises and today nomy could tell something was wrong. I ordered a special gift for her to be delivered to our house and I accidentally gave the wrong address. I havent told her what it is yet. so I didnt totally ruin the surprise, as I am keeping hopeful and staying positive. the person that mailed the gift insured the package and got a tracking number. Im looking back at paperwork/conversation and I see what I did with the house number. it is a house number I lived at on grand ave in Minneapolis. and totally not my address here. I at least got the street correct. this has me slightly triggered today cuz it is really scary when I dont remember things. and if this gift doesnt happen it is ok. theres just a weird thing about holidays and gift giving that is hard too. I like making things for people, or functional things people need. agreeing in advance that spending money is hard when we have very little, so making gifts is best. I took advantage of an opportunity with someone we know, and was an investment and a way to keep a little chunk of money circulating in our community. so I did spend some money. anyway. I just had a little cry over it. about not knowing my own address. I did such a good job with all the other information. please send positive energy and woo that the package will get returned to sender. and reshipped to us. just sharing this is giving me courage to bike to this incorrect address and see if anyone is there. see if that helps. nomy suggested that. I am sending love and acceptance to anyone else out there that experiences holes/forgetting things. I think to a degree we all can relate, but its really jolting when this is an ongoing part of our parameters. for me its tied into acceptance. you are ok exactly how you are. its ok to make mistakes. xo
Posted on: Sun, 10 Aug 2014 22:39:54 +0000
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