anonymous asks: My closest friend who has been diagnosed with BPD (and goes to DBT therapy,) has pushed and pulled me for years. I am new to learning more about her disorder, but an incident today really made me want to know how to react to her constantly (annually) ending our friendship only to come back. Today she had cancelled her daughters birthday party at the last minute due to rain and when I text her about it she said it had been rescheduled with her daughters father indoors instead and my family was still welcome to go (but not obligated...didnt really have to go.. etc.) When I asked her if shed be there as well, she told me that we shouldnt be friends anymore. I asked her what she meant and she told me she didnt have the time or energy to explain.... I felt confused and really hurt. I realized that she was probably having a difficult day but it still really hurt, especially without any explanation as to why. I also found that following that conversation she deleted me from facebook and her gmail chat. Every year, especially when the seasons first change (esp from summer to fall and from winter to spring,) it seems our friendship gets put on hold, sometimes for (seemingly to me) no reason at all and I am left totally confused. I feel like I am walking on eggshells during the rougher times of our friendship, only to have her disappear (usually by going into rehab or being hospitalized,) and reappear and resume our friendship. Ive told her many times that I love her no matter what and will always be her friend, but Im exhausted from the seesaw emotional relationship between us. She is an amazing person and I just wish I knew what I could do to help or make her feel more supportive (and less abandoned- if thats the problem??) OR if thats not possible- what kind of boundaries to set up while being loving so that she understands that this constant push and pull doesnt help our friendship grow, it only makes it restart over and over? My family members think I should cut off ties because I am being pulled down with her, but Im not ready to give up on her. Id really appreciate any help!!
Posted on: Mon, 28 Jul 2014 13:42:56 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015