certainly not writing here, looking forward, spending zero energy on anything related to him, basically as if it had never existed, you can do that, those are the moments when life is great, when you play piano or listen to that stuff youtube/watch?v=4Tr0otuiQuU CAN I BY THE WAY SAY HOW IT ANNOYS ME THAT WHEN ITS A FANCY NAME LIKE MOONLIGHT SONATA, PEOPLE JUST THINK THE FIRST PIECE OF IT, AND NOT THE WHOLE, ANNOYS ME SOOO MUCH but basically living in the here and now... and not spending a single ounce of my energy on past stuff and i feel like i still dont stand strong enough on that ground so that its too easy to get sucked back into the tunnel, writing that email for an hour gets me back to depressed, sure, cause the stuff im dealing with was ugly and painful. but so theres also the bucket of present and future and that story, and truth is hes neither in your present nor in your future, and youve spent too much time and past and i mean Rachel was right, i did not have a box to put it into, ive never experienced psychopath, ive never experienced someone without a conscience. future means living, when i try to resolve it i get sucked back into it. i can see how emotional abuse, even makes you addicted to the person, just like all insane, so looking for recipes, market, this time my veggie streak is surprisingly anxiety free, playing piano, diala tutoring, print photos for mums birthday, maybe continue with the email im not sure..... meet jonas tonight, wrap present, write letter for mum, clean up flat, not much,
Posted on: Sat, 29 Nov 2014 09:29:49 +0000
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