first of all, this a rant, a squabble, an oratorical curse from a half arsed/half drunk vilified existence spelled with an E then a D ending with an S. and its on effing FB, proof of narcissistic tendencies neither exorcised by the current rucus that, oh well, im at it again, or the seemingly/purportedly charming-kool-aid-effed-up liquid many (cluding me) was made to drink for almost 30 years now. its just going downhill from here. theres no point in simplifying things, not even after being subjected to microscopic scrutiny, weighed about, scrutinized again, even after that little viral siri-like mental voice thats keeping you hush and calm with (oh you know, its your mind making it out of nothing): do the right thing, everythings gonna be all right. there goes. the insult to injury. its been this long. being fed with garbage (g a r v e y g) for all of ones existence only to discover a faint light at the corner where youre told, dont, the bogeyman lives there. it was an idea before. the what ifs. and now that its raining cats and dogs over the fauxed me, read: me the patient, the listening, the taking the high road, the genuflecting-obeying minion, the quixotic dreamer, the kind. the weak, too-scared to question the norm. when this supertyphoons go bananas over your rooftops and stares you upfront, care for a ride to oblivion?, would you rather stand guard for the betrayal of your old ideals born from corrupt structures (religion, govt, effed up culture of demise) or fade into a less vague plane, so few dares to step into? one may be faulted if his faith/love is shattered into million little pieces, could be that it wasnt as strong as one intended it to be. denial, anger, acceptance, moment of loss, moving on. on the five stages of grief, im on the 4th, the phase of uncertainty. it could really go downhill from here. you should have never read this. I should have never wrote.
Posted on: Mon, 11 Nov 2013 00:06:36 +0000
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