fta: The first thing I see is the great wall of kombucha -- 42 different kinds of rotten tea. Fun fact: the word kombucha is Japanese for I gizzed in your tea. Anyone whos ever swallowed the glob of mucus at the end of the bottle knows exactly what Im talking about. I believe this thing is called The Mother, which makes it that much creepier. Next I see the gluten-free section filled with crackers and bread made from various wheat-substitutes such as cardboard and sawdust. I skip this aisle because Im not rich enough to have dietary restrictions. Ever notice that you dont meet poor people with special diet needs? A gluten intolerant house cleaner? A cab driver with Candida? Candida is what I call a rich, white person problem. You know youve really made it in this world when you get Candida. My personal theory is that Candida is something you get from too much hot yoga. All Im saying is if I were a yeast, I would want to live in your yoga pants.
Posted on: Thu, 26 Jun 2014 22:26:00 +0000
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