here is the post from yesterday from the blog i thought i would put it here bc i need everyones help with it please. Well the wife and I went away for a few days it was good until I forgot to take my meds for one day and now I feel like shit. I am jittery then ever more irritable then before. This just sucks I feel like nothing is going right in my life. I have messed up some many others. I am busting my ass trying to raise money for a service dog to help with these symptoms and they are not going well. I am tired of relying on meds to feel somewhat normal. Why should my life revolve around a dang med. Why can’t I get control of this issue? What will happen to me when my body get use to all the meds and I have no other place to turn? I called and talked to the dr last Monday and told her that everything is going on and thinking that the meds are not working and well, I am still waiting to hear back from her….no big deal I just feel like I want to stand on top of the world and scream at the top of my lungs and feel like I want to jump out of my skin. I am tired of struggling every day to make it to the next just to do it all over again. Oh back to the part of trying to raise money for a dog. Well that is not going so well. It has been 4 months and only about 20% of the way. Yes I know there are free dogs out there I just don’t have the time to go away for 3 or so weeks to train them. Let alone the money to stay somewhere the whole time. So the dog is going to cost me 20,000 I am at about 4,000 or so. I am struggling to put a golf event together Oct 7, 2013. I don’t know a lot of golfers so any if you know anyone that lives around the Pa and philly area that likes to golf please send them to this link spdgolfclassic.charityhappenings.org/ If you know anyone who might want to sponsor a hole that would be great and it is also a tax deduction I have had a give forward page up for a couple months and that is ending soon, so if you can donate please do, and most of all please share this with everyone you know. On that page there is a story about how I lived when I first came back from overseas. I just don’t want to live like this anymore, it hurts to look into my wife’s eyes and see the pain that I put her in every day. I just can’t take it much more. I can’t deal with letting everyone down that I come across. My life is nothing but one let down after another, I wish things were normal or close to normal. I want to be truly happy again all the time, not just when something great happens like when I meet my wife or when I got married. But on a semi normal basis, I am not sure if I am hurting more because of the way I feel or the way I make others feel. I see the pain in people’s eyes when they have to be around me. Let it be because I messed up something or they just don’t want to be near me for one reason or another. I just not right. I want so much for others, I wish I didn’t come in contact with people and ruin their lives. It is not fair to them. Yeah life is not fair, but at least they have some say in it but not with this. You are affected by the people around you. I am tired of having the bad effect on others. I just ………………………………. Screw it, it is not fair for me to always say I and talk about me. Dang it, I can’t go one sentence without saying I. I know the world is not about me or revolve around me. I hope no one thinks that I think that. If I can get through this I plan on helping any veteran with PTSD any way I can.
Posted on: Tue, 03 Sep 2013 11:55:41 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015