hilarious....thanks, Shawn Holy mother of god, its supposed to snow today. Remember yesterday, when it was 70 degrees and we were all walking around without a care in the world? Well, kiss those days goodbye (until Saturday), because its supposed to snow up to .25 inch in some places — and its supposed to get really, really cold. In case youve forgotten what to do in the face of such epic natural disaster, CultureMap offers these survival tips: Cancel all of your plans. If you have meetings on the books, cancel them. Meeting your co-workers for happy hour? Youre certainly not now. If you live in Austin, and theres the potential for snow (or lets be honest, when theres a potential for rain), all plans are automatically canceled. Crank up the heat and put on your best pair of nonbinding pants, because youre not going anywhere. Head to HEB. Canceling plans is the best. As the comedian John Mulaney says, In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin. But now that youre not doing anything, youre going to have to spend your night in. First, you will need provisions — things like milk, bread … actually, never mind. Pull into the HEB parking lot, think about going in, decide not to, pull out and drive to the liquor store. You can always order a pizza. Just because youre not driving doesnt mean the delivery guy from Conans cant get on the road. Plus, when its this cold and you have no plans, its best to warm up with natures fireplace: bourbon. Since you will most likely be holed up for 18, possibly 20, hours, plan accordingly. Fire up the Netflix. Now that you have provisions, its time to get to the evenings most important activity: deciding what youre going to watch on Netflix. If youre not sure, read through the queue of artsy foreign films and social documentaries you marked weeks ago. Unfortunately, no one ever seems to actually be in the mood to watch any of these selections. Decide on the episode of Law & Order: SVU with John Stamos. Halfway through, realize youve seen this one before and youre pretty sure Stamos did it, but youll be damned if you can remember the plot twist. Dick Wolf does it again. Flip through Instagram. Scroll through your feed and envy your friends living in Los Angeles, with their light jackets and carefree attitudes. Make sure not to heart their photos out of spite. (They wont know, but you will.) You were like them once, enjoying balmy 70-degree January days and laughing at your friends on the East Coast, all of whom were buried under snow earlier this week. Decide to take advantage of this night in and get a little reading done. One of the best — and worst — things about Austin is that there is always something to do. Factor in a full-time job, family, some semblance of a social life, and by the time you crawl into bed, youre usually too tired to make it past the first chapter of The Goldfinch. Now that you have a whole evening free due to the possible snow dusting outside, its time to power through those back issues of The New Yorker. Give it up when you see that the next episode of Law & Order: SVU has Fred Savage. Stop reading to spend an inordinate amount of time contemplating whether or not you should drip your faucets. This is a real Texas-centric problem. While dripping the faucets seems like an easy way to prevent costly repairs if the pipes burst, anyone who listens to KUT knows theyre always reminding us that were still in a stage two drought restriction. Finally decide to drip the faucet, but with the caveat that youll only take really, really short showers for the rest of the week. Suddenly realize why this snow day is so great. The best part of this freezing, sleeting, snowing, windy weather? It will be 70 degrees again on Saturday.
Posted on: Fri, 24 Jan 2014 16:03:33 +0000
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