i feel like im torn into two parts. one part is sad, depressed, full of guilt, and ready to give up and bite the bullet, while the other part is excited about where my future is taking me. i hoped and prayed so hard that the universe would take care of us and bring us back together, and i didnt prepare myself emotionally or mentally to accept any other scenario. im devastated every day since weve been apart, and im absolutely scared of facing a future without her. i never envisioned a future that didnt include her after she came into my life. but the universe works in mysterious ways and has given me another golden opportunity to pursue something else instead. after blowing what was a golden opportunity with her, i will NOT miss another one. we both took a huge leap of faith and opened our minds and our hearts and im so grateful and thankful for the light and the love that she brought into my life. i will remember that always. that being said, ending Jeans seems so natural to me now. it was started out of a negative place, and has snowballed into something bigger, but also more negative. im so tired of carrying around the emotional weight of this project, and while i still have a lot of demons to work out, i feel that the new project im working on is starting off in a positive place and as sad still as i am, i feel happy about being given the chance to start fresh. thank you so much to everyone that has supported me throughout the years, wrote me, booked shows, etc. it still blows my mind anyone has bothered to listen to me at all. Jeans has been a huge part of my life, and so have all of you. im trying so hard not to give up. stay strong, love, laugh, cry, get high, eat pizza and share your thoughts. the world is an awful place and its hard to be alone. but life is beautiful, and im really trying to believe that right now. see you guys soon xoxoxoxox AC
Posted on: Wed, 24 Sep 2014 19:09:55 +0000
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