i know to those without a pet…this will seem silly or trivial and many others are dealing with a lot worse, Im not naive to that. but i have always had a special place in my heart for my dogs, more so than a lot of people…ever since my first pup Rusty … i am not sure if it is a blessing or a not to hear from the vet that the X-rays show my puppy of almost 12 years has a form of aggressive bone cancer. to me she was brought to the vet because her back legs seemed to be weakening which is normal for larger dogs and for a limp in her front leg. i really thought it would be something simple. this was the first time at this vet. they were really nice, but once they brought me in the back..i kinda knew something was up. my pal of almost 12 years is dying of cancer. it is just a white image on her arm….so?! what do you mean she is dying??!! what are the options… amputate..which we all agreed is not an option. chemo..which really i am not putting my dog thru that…and they said it may give her a year. but what kind of year?! so they said give her love and pain meds to make her comfortable. she will tell you when she is ready to go. they also warned me she could fracture her leg and what that would mean,…ill spare you the details… but most likely she will go before that. so how much time do we have? one to 6 months. that could be weeks!? i dont want her to suffer…she was refusing food and fighting the meds…even though they said it was beef flavored and shed love it…uh wrong. she is still acting a fool…which i love, although i worry she will hurt herself…and she is still being so affectionate..which i love more. she is still trying to get up stairs and trying to jump on the bed..which kills me to watch..but i help her as much as possible. she isnt going to just give up…so who am i to? Some of the times i just think, i ll show the vet….in a few weeks brackett will be fine and they will be wrong…it was just a sprain. thats what id like to happen…. in the meantime they say they are very confident it is bone cancer…ok fine..i heard you… so each day i try to show her some love…give her some treats… some times she takes em, so times i think she refuses them because she doesnt want pity. dont know how she knows but if the meds are in the food she will not eat it no matter how much peanut butter or cheese i hide it in. it is hard knowing… i look at her and she seems normal except for a limp…but i stare and think - damn you cancer eating away at her body..damn you for taking her. F you cancer… i will be by her side till the end… i know she is a dog to some… but she has been there… so how can i not be there for her…. heres hoping it is harder on us than it will be on her. she deserves that.
Posted on: Mon, 05 Jan 2015 00:47:20 +0000
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