in the words of the late great: lets go on with the countdown *** Shes twenty-nine and holding The world on her shoulders Theyre all counting on mama And she aint about to let them down 29. Twenty-nine. One score and nine days to go. I truly hope you are prepared. If not, read on! No, not write on. Or right on. Oh why is the queen’s so difficult? 29, we know, is the natural number following 28 and preceding 30. Natural? 29 wears no undies? From the Department of Redundancy Department: 29 is the fourth primorial prime. Seriously. I am not making this stuff up. Even though folks on Wacko-Pedia might be. 29 days, fellow babies, until pigs fly. Wrap your brains around that. College football — nay: LORD college football — is drawing us closer by the day. Soon, undoubtedly, it will engulf us in its tarantuan — I don’t know if it’s a word; but i like it! — web and swallow us whole. Visualize that. The massive defensive end ripping an arm off the golden-boy quarterback and devouring it. All before the 25-second clock expires! Holy Mackanoly. MackBrown, too. It is a Lucas prime, a Pell prime and a tetranacci number. It is an Einstein prime with no imaginary part and real part You remember ol’ Lucas, doncha? Lucas Pell Einstein. Dude thought he was the smartest guy on the field. Thought he could one-up — yes: one up — the other players, the coaches, the refs. Then we all learned he had flunked out of third grade three times and was older than everybody else. Tetranacci this! 29, you see, is the atomic number of copper. And Messier M29 is an open cluster — 9.0 cluster, mind you — in the constellation Cygnus. Mark Messier? Again? —The lunar month is very close to 29 days. Whoa, now! We journalist types don’t do “very close” very well. Just the fax, ma’am. —Saturn requires 29 years to orbit the sun. —29 days in February. Every four years. Which leads us to one of those things that keeps me awake at nights: Every four Earth years or every four Saturn years? Hmmmm. The “Twentynine Stumps,” as Marines call them, is an air ground combat center located at Twentynine Palms, Califor-nye-yay. —Pardon me, boys, is that the Chattanooga Choo Choo? Track 29? Say, can you spare me a dime. I-29 runs from Missouri to North Dakota. Don’t know I’ve ever traversed it. A 29er? Anybody know? Tis a mountain bike with 29-inch wheels. Rod Carew. John Smoltz. Eric Dickerson. Miklos Feher. You remember ol’ Miklos, doncha? Was all talk and not much action in his futbol — no, not Lord Football — career. Died on the pitch, I am told, of a cardiac arrest. Seriously. I am not making this stuff up. Today’s useless trivia from the cesspool of useless trivia that is my gray matter: No NBA team has retired the number 29. The roster for the 2014 Oklahoma State University football team — yes: the team that will shock the world in 29 days — lists two Nos. 29. Cameron Gravelle is a senior wide receiver from Austin, Texas. Zach Sinor is a freshman punter from Castroville, Texas. You’ve never been to Castroville? A little burgh between San Antone and Hondo. You’ve never been to Hondo? Twenty-nine days, my friends. Twenty-nine days until we pop up our pop-up tents. Pop open a pop top. And soak in the atmosphere — the pageantry, the ceremony, the AROMA — of LCF. The brats. The beers. The burgers. The ‘backers, both on and off the field. Twenty-nine days. Are you (getting) ready? Oh, shes tender but shes tough And still willing to love If theres a man, man enough to be her man Shes twenty-nine and holding The world on her shoulders Theyre all counting on mama And she aint about to let them down
Posted on: Fri, 01 Aug 2014 13:52:28 +0000
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