my english story I think its fab have a read plz. sit in my room, silent... starting to write the letter, I write slowly “dear dad.” And then stop not knowing what else to write, wiping the smudged makeup dripping down my face from crying, I never thought things would get this bad, looking into the mirror just sitting there staring at my imperfections, pointing out every single one. Remembering all the names I get called, remembering every single one, they have scarred me for life mentally and physically. I continue writing my letter; I begin a new letter writing it to my best friend, reminding her of everything we have been through, all the fights, all the fun times, and then I tell her, I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for her anymore and I would always love her. Wiping more tears that are running down my face, I look at the rope hanging from my fan, placing one foot on the chair placed below it, holding the finished letters in my hands. Placing the rope around my neck, staring at the floor, building the courage to step off the chair. I look at my bleeding wrists all the blood dripping onto the floor. Puddles of blood underneath my chair. As I take one last breath, the breath to finish my life I step off the chair. I struggle regretting what I have done, trying to get back onto the chair, I’ve made a mistake, I can’t imagine what my family and friends are going to go through when they find me. I can’t seem to get my feet on the chair, and then I black out. Everything is blurred, I open my eyes, back to the day everything started, year 8, my first year of high school I was already afraid, scared, the year was going great until I got an infection ‘golden staph’ my group of friends left me, made rumours around the whole school.. no one would talk to me, I would get called ‘ugly and fat’ everyday, They group of girls I thought were my ‘friends’ told everyone if they came near me they could die, this is when I started to first cut. I started a new school, a new life, I met a girl named Kasey the first time we met we were connected by the hips, she was gorgeous, flawless, the most popular girl in the school. Every weekend we were together, no one could tear us apart. We were there for each other through everything, not having a care in the world for other people. And then one day, I saw my best friend, fall to the ground in tears, being bullied, hit, yelled at. This was the first time I saw cracks, she wasn’t the happy girl I always had been friends with. She has been through so much but no one understood because she kept it all bottled in, never told a soul, except for my soul, because we were like soul mates forever being best friends. Then I remember, the time I got ‘bashed’ I never saw it coming it was 2 years ago, yet I still get shit for it now, everyone still reminds me, it breaks me down, I have a box of hospital bracelets from all the times I’ve tried to end my life but failed. 2 weeks later, my mum got diagnosed with cancer, 3 weeks later she lost her life, I was a mess, I didn’t talk to anyone for months, I would call my best friend every night in tears, I ran away twice, I knew she was looking over me, she was my guardian angel . My dad was a mess he didn’t speak a word for months, I hear him crying every night when he was lying in bed, I always smelt mums perfume around the house, dad just doesn’t want it to be real, he wants it all to be a dream. He ended up being admitted into a mental institute, I couldn’t deal with it, I lost my mum and I basically lost my dad all under 6 months, this was when everything got worse, my depression turned bad, I cut myself every day. It was just me and my little sister, we moved in with my grandparents, I saw dad every weekend, just to remind him I’m not going to give up on him. I suddenly wake up, lying in a hospital bed, I see my father and little sister sitting beside me, both of them just staring at me lifeless body, I grab both their hands. Just so they know I’m okay, I’m awake. I see the letter I wrote him sitting on his lap. I tell him I love him, and that I am sorry, I asked about Kasey, I ask how she is going, if she got my letter, seeing dads eyes fill up with tears. I ask him again, he opens his mouth about to speak he has a shaky voice as he says “I’m sorry Tegan, the night you tried to kill yourself, Kasey came over after to find you hanging. She read the letter, I’m so sorry Tegan, but she is gone, she committed suicide because she thought you were gone, she wanted to see you again so she went to heaven, she’s with mum now, and she is safe.” As I hear the news, my eyes start watering, I start shaking, and I can’t even speak. I’ve lost my bestfriend, my sister, the girl I love most, the girl that is always there for me. A week later, its Kasey’s funeral, after the funeral, I sit in my room silence. Remembering I just lost my bestfriend, I can’t deal with it. As I stand on the chair for the second time I place the rope around my neck, I step off, I’m gone, back to be with my bestfriend. They place our tombstones together, bestfriends for ever
Posted on: Fri, 07 Jun 2013 09:36:33 +0000
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