saw the look in your eyes today when you finally realized what I had done. Your pretty mouth dropped open slightly and you were at a loss for words. You didnt need to say anything, anyway, because I saw it all in your eyes--betrayal, disillusionment, revulsion. In that moment, I just wanted to crawl under a rock somewhere and hide. But now that I understand the gravity of what Ive done, my actions have filled me with self-loathing and remorse. Its difficult for me to look in the mirror and Im not proud of the man I see there when I do. I have no excuse for what happened and saying Im sorry hardly seems adequate. But if you could forgive me this time, I promise you this will never happen again. Both the suffering that Ive caused you and the misery I feel now show me that breaking my word causes too much damage to both of us to ever want to do it again. Whatever selfish gratification I thought Id gain by my foolish act has disappeared like a wisp of cloud under the noonday sun. All that remains is guilt and a stronger resolve to be not only the man you want me to be, but to be the man that I want myself to be. I know it may be difficult to believe right now, but I really do love you and have honestly never loved anyone else. In the past year, weve become so much a part of each others lives that I really cant imagine my life without you anymore. I dont think it would benefit either one of us to give up on this relationship yet because weve both invested so much of ourselves into it already and our good times have far outnumbered the bad. What few problems weve had in the past have been minor and weve been able to work through them with very little trouble. I would give anything to pick up where we left off--just doing everyday things like coming back to the apartment after work, kicking back on the couch and sharing the ups and downs of each others day. I enjoy taking turns at being chef (when we dont order pizza) and appreciate your willingness to
Posted on: Mon, 19 Jan 2015 11:45:20 +0000
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