this was a paragraph i wrote for a very low level writing class at lane.. and below it is the teachers response.. also the first week she told us she was afraid of bears -- The reasons why I decided to go to Lane Community College for welding and fabrication are mostly boring, however I will write about a lesser and more interesting reason why I choose this path. One golden fall day while I was picking berries I felt a spooky feeling, like something was bearing down on me. This feeling was almost more then I could bear. Bear in mind I was bare foot and was not really sure where I parked my truck. Not that my truck would help me because the wheel bearings where seized and barely worked. After I collected myself I very calmly changed my bearing and headed down to a river, which rested at the base of a ravine. Then, as I was cautiously heading towards the river I seen a bear! A black bear was stalking me in the thick of the berry patch. I then picked up my pace and I noticed a bridge going over the ravine and across the river. lo and behold, across the bridge I saw my truck sitting there, barely 100 feet away. I then dropped my berries and ran from the bear, my bare feet were getting ripped from the dead branches on the path. When I was barely halfway across the bridge I tripped and fell off, however I managed to grab a cross member that was responsible for bearing most of the bridges weight. As I was hanging off the base of this bridge, roughly 50 feet above the river, the bear was lurking above waiting for a snack. I then noticed a tin can wedged on a cross member of the bridge, and remembered a old boy scout trick. I then with one arm grabbed all the coins from my pocked and put them in the tin cup. After that I shook the tin can, the tin can made a loud rattling sound and the bear took off running; The bear was scared of the sound! Next I climbed up on to the bridge and slowing walked the rest of the way to my truck. When I got to my truck I crawled under it and sprayed some WD-40 on the wheel bearings of my truck; it was a bear of a task cause of the low clearance of my truck. After that I started my truck and drove back towards town. While I was bearing closer to town I thought to my self, wow that bridge was welded very well, I wonder if I should go to school and learn how to weld so I can build bridges someday too. To conclude this short, small reason why I choose this field of study, I feel it necessary after Wednesdays class to ensure the reader that this outlandish story is in fact a work of fiction and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! her response - Well, its not quite what I asked for, but I do give you credit for creativity here, Albert. Just bear in mind that the next assignment should be NON-fiction, yes? I understand why the bearings were discussed here, but stick to the action! Make them a part of the story, if youre already making stuff up. Make the squeaky sound a danger because it might alert the bear to your presence. I look forward to hearing more about your welding path (and less about bears! Yikes).
Posted on: Thu, 17 Oct 2013 03:45:57 +0000
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