when i got married i made a supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on my way from work. since i lived on de country side i called my wife and told her i wld be gerin home late cos i hav to walk. on my way home, i passed by a small dinner n de odour of a baked beans was more dan i cld not stand.with miles home, i figured i cld walk off any ill effects by de tym i reached home. so i stopped @ de dinner & before i knew it, i had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All de way home, i made sure dat i released all de gas. uppon arrival my wife seemed excited to see me and exclaimed i hav a supriz for ur bday. she then blindfolded me & led me to my table @ dinner. i took a seat and just as she was about removing my blindfold, the telefon rang, she made mepromise not to remove the blindfold until she finished with de call. the baked bread i consumed was still affecting me as de pressure became most unbearable. so i seized de opportunity as my wife was out, i shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. it was not only louder but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk infront of a pulpwood mill. i took my napkin from my lap to mevigorously fun the air around. then, shifting to the other cheek, i ripped off three more. the stink was more than cooked cabbage. keeping my ears tunned to the conversation in the other room, i went on like this another few minutes. the pleasure was indescribable. when eventually the farewells signalled for the end of the conversation which is also the end of my freedom, i quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, feeling very relieved an pleased with myself. my face must hav been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologising for keeping quiet too long. she asked me to see if i peeked through the blindfold, i assured her i hadnt. at this point she removed the blindfold and GUESS WHAT twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorussed, happy birthday!!! I FAINTED.
Posted on: Mon, 14 Jul 2014 18:08:22 +0000
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