Всім друзям від серця – гарних вихідних! + інструкція – як ідентифікувати справжнього українця або How to verify that you are Ukrainian by birth, by marriage, or through guilt by association: You say and understand phrases such as: "Slava Isusu Christu," "Ya Ne Znayu," "Nu Yak Tam," and "Na Zdarovlya." The dead giveaway is saying and /or understanding "Nekhai by Tebe Kachka Kopnula". You call your grandma "babtsia" and your grandpa "dido". You know (or think you know) how to dance the hopak, kolomiyka, and polka, but you do this mostly at weddings or at a Malanka after kicking back a few generous shots of vodka or cognac. When frustrated by someone, you slap your forehead, shake your head, and say "Nekhai by Tebe kholera vziala" or "potsiluy mene des". You have spent half your life selling raffle tickets for some church fundraiser and the other half at protests and demonstrations. You have at least one male relative named Stefan or Vasyl or Bohdan or Taras or Roman or Vlodko. At lease one of your aunts is named Hannia, Olya, Tekla, Lyuba, Nastia, Sofia, or Halya. You eat red horseradish. You sing "Vichnaya Pamiat" and "Kru Kru Kru" at funerals and "Monohaya Lita" at weddings, birthday parties, retirement parties, and graduations. You always prefer rye bread to white. Words like "shkvarky" actually mean something to you. No celebration is truly complete without a walnut torte. You actually know who Saint Volodymyr the Great, Taras Shevchenko, & Volodymyr Palahniuk were and why they matter. You might even know something about (or at least have heard of) Pantalemon Kulish. You have at least one relative who plays the piano, violin, guitar, sopilka, or bandura. You have at least one relative who sings well enough to perform at the Met. You sometimes wear an embroidered blouse or shirt to special events. You have a niece or nephew who dances with a Ukrainian Folk ensemble. Your idea of "healthy" is boiled pyrohy with butter and onions or buckwheat with those aforementioned shkvarky. Your house has at least 10 pysanky and 10 embroidered pillows and/or tablecloths. Most of the funerals you attend are arranged by Ukrainian undertakers. People often have trouble pronouncing your last name and many times ask you to prononce it even before trying to say it themselves. You freak when someone calls you Russian or Polish. When you visit someone, you never arrive empty-handed and when someone comes to your house you have enough food to feed everyone living on your street. You began life as (or know at least 20 people who began life as) a DP. As a kid, you spent your Saturday mornings at "ukie school."
Posted on: Fri, 26 Jul 2013 19:16:52 +0000
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