हमहूँ खाबै ..... (I shall also eat these things) The story of A traditional Hindu Kayastha Wedding in Allahabad City in 1940s **************************************************************************** My elder sister (no.3) is now 82+. She retired as a college lecturer in Allahabad more than 2 decades ago and is a pensioner. Her late husbands late elder sisters husband is alive at age 103+ and super rich. When this old mans permission was sought by the family for the arranged wedding of his first grand-daughter, he laid down just one condition .... that the Baaraat (wedding party of the groom and his family, relatives and friends would have to stay on at the brides place for 60 hours (2-1/2 days) and accept full hospitality. This was quite unusual in todays conditions, but they had to accept the old mans condition. I recall that in old time Allahabad, this used to be the norm. The Baraat would arrive anytime in the day, usually in the afternoon of the wedding day. The party would be housed in a big building called the Janvasa and accorded lavish hospitality .... beds t rest, sofas to lounge about, food served in a group but in individual plates, snacks, tea, milk, liquor, nuts, services of masseurs, barbers, washermen and orderlies, a retinue of vehicles (usually horse drawn carts) for site seeing, playing cards, chess boards, reading material for passing the time, and in some cases professional lady dancers to sing and dance exclusively for the guests. This type of singing nd dancing was called MUJRA. The evening meal consisting of 05 to 20 courses for the wedding guests used to be called PREETI BHOJ. It was not unusual to have 500 to 1000 guests. The Hindu wedding rituals would commence around midnight and end around 3 or 4 in the morning, when the bride and the groom would be closeted together in a room full of young members of the brides family and a small group of grooms young friends and relatives for a social and family ritual called KOHBAR PUJA. There used to be a lot of friendly banter between the two sides for about 2 hours, during which the bride and groom would also engage in some friendly games supervised by a lady member of the girls family. At about 4 or 5 am the bride and the girl would be allowed to rest, but not allowed usually to sleep together. Most of the guests would have returned home after Preeti Bhoj the previous night. Close relatives and family friends would assemble at the brides residence around 9 am for a social ritual called KUNWAR KALEVA over breakfast when the groom would be formally introduced to the brides relatives who would give him small presents like cash gifts, radio, cycle, motor cycle, even a car, wrist watches, gold chains etc. Sometimes greedy grooms would be brought round to accept small gifts. The lunch on the day after the Wedding night used to be called BHAAT. it was common to hold the Bhaat under the MANDAP (the traditional wedding canopy) for a select group of grooms family and friends. Each guest was given individual presents in cash, utensils, clothing or silver coins. The wedding guests would then return to the Janvasa to rest. The dinner on the second day used to be called BADHAAR (the high dinner). Among members of our community, it was common to have very rich and lavish food, often with liquor. Sometimes, the Bhaat and the Badhaar would be hosted by some important relative of the girl, such as her Mama (her mothers brother/s). After the Badahaar, the wedding party would again return to the Janvasa to rest for the night. in most cases, the bride would be ceremonially sent to the grooms home on the morning of the 3rd day after the wedding night. This ritual is called BIDAAI. The wedding guests visit the girls home for break fast under the Mandap. As the arrangements for the girl to leave begin, there begins a round of wailing or weeping. The grooms father and a few important guests are requested to symbolically dismantle the Mandap and small token gifts are given to them. While telling me, in my childhood, the story of the Wedding of Hindu God Lord Ram to Sita in the 6th millennium BC, Babuji used to get emotional when Sita Jis bidaai would be the topic of narration and he would himself begin to weep, first softly and then loudly. And Babuji would describe each item of food in the Preeti Bhoj, Bhaat and Badhaar hosted by King janak, the father of Sita ji, that once, when I was about 3 or 4 years of age, I stopped him with my little hands and called out in Awadhi dialect (my mother tongue) Humhoon Khaabaiy ! (I will also like to eat these things.) When i was an adolescent my relatives used to tease me about my childlike greed, but now, in my 70s, I smile when i think of it. These days, Hindu weddings in the cities of north India take about 9 hours in all. The Baraat arrives around 8 pm and heads straight to the dining hall in most cases, while the bride and the groom get together on the decorated stage for the VARMALA or JAYMALA ritual when they place garlands of roses around each others necks and a session of photography, during which visiting guests give the gifts (usually cash in shiny envelopes) to them. The wedding rituals start around mid=night and are over in a couple of hours. Bidaai usually takes place around 5 in the morning. There often are minor differences from city to city and community to community. Bhaiya Ji, 10 October, 2014 I post below two songs - one a Mujra song-dance and the other a Baraat on its way to brides place. .................................................................................... https://youtube/watch?v=cXdJJvpgTvw
Posted on: Fri, 10 Oct 2014 00:29:40 +0000
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