35 reasons it’s great to be a tourist... With their worldly sophistication, cheap fisherman pants and penchant for being smiley all the time, tourists are a much-hated group. But before you laugh too hard at the lost look in their eyes, or mock too much the clattering chaos of their attempts to board the roof of a minibus with five bags and three cameras swinging from their torsos, understand this: they don’t care. They’re having the time of their life. And we all know why. Being a tourist is awesome. Let us know why being a tourist works for you. Comment below. 1: You get to go on and on and on about how amazing India/Paraguay/France is without actually having to live there. 2: You can eat like a feudal lord every night, and still lose weight from all the walking. 3: Whether you’re terrifying yourself on local transport or basting yourself in the sun next to a bag of beer, it beats what your friends are doing back home. 4: Freedom from the tyranny of socks. 5: The guilt attached to not utilizing your gym subscription is way less severe than it is back home. 6: You can ensure you return home looking svelte and lean by seeking out the town’s dirtiest street vendor on the penultimate night of the trip. 7: Visiting a foreign country is way more stimulating than staying at home all year. And if you don’t like it, you can at least sound exotic when you moan about it. 8: Cold beers on the beach/in a hammock/in bed/in a bar/on a road trip in the middle of the afternoon? Don’t mind if I do. 9: Breakfast buffets. Fresh fruit and muesli then hash browns and sausages then perhaps some blue cheese and ham. It doesnt make sense, but so what? You’re on holiday. 10: If you don’t like someone, you never have to speak to him/her again -- unlike the person who sits next to you at work. 11: Bringing home a tan and worldly knowledge is like dousing yourself in pheromones. Just be sure to cover up with mosquito spray, to avoid unsightly welts. 12: No matter how linguistically challenged you are, the words “beer,” “toilet” and “hotel” work nearly everywhere. 13: Getting drunk excused under the guise of “testing the merits of local brews over homogenous imports.” 14: It’s easy, in fact it’s imperative, to flick the off switch on the depressing news and awful TV shows that otherwise fill your life. 15: If you’ve got any sense, your destination of choice will be significantly cheaper than your own country. 16: If you look as if you’re going to spend some money, even locals who don’t like tourists will pretend they do. 17: You can finally finish that book you’ve been falling asleep with every night for the last three months. 18: You can bolster your social networking cred by Facebook-friending lots of exotic foreigners. 19: The weather. Even the rain seems somehow exotic when abroad. 20: The buzz you get walking around a new place knowing youre not at work is one of life’s greatest highs. 21: You can get a foot massage every day without anyone thinking you’re a fetishist. 22: You can finally wear those expensive sunglasses without fear of looking like a poser. 23: In fact, you can wear anything. Baggy Thai pants with a singlet? Go on, no one will bat an eyelid. 24: You can indulge passive-aggressive tendencies by posting lots of pictures on Facebook of yourself paragliding or surrounded by Hawaiian dancers or [insert jealousy-inducing image here]. 25: You learn about the country youre visiting through experience, rather than National Geographic. 26: Stories about eating still-beating snake hearts and downing tequila straight from the bottle are pretty rock ‘n’ roll. 27: You finally get to use those foreign phrases you learned in junior school, like “Voulez vous couchez avec moi, s’il vous plaît?” 28: There’s a good chance you’ll be allowed to smoke cigarettes indoors. 29: Happy hour is actually worthwhile -- half-price drinks starting just before sunset and extending for at least two hours. 30: An afternoon siesta is not just acceptable, its a necessity. 31: You get to try local specialities previously only seen on TV: balut (Philippines), fried monkey toes (Indonesia), tete de veau (calf’s head, France) and roasted ants (Columbia). 32. Those childish antics people get up to in pictures -- fingertips on the top of the Eiffel Tower, posing with fake gladiators at the Coliseum -- yep, you get to do them too now. Cool. 33: The lack of decent television channels in your mother tongue means you’ll have no choice but to go out and enjoy life. 34: Taking part in a drunken karaoke session becomes an appealing prospect. 35: The nearest you get to cooking is pointing at the fish you want grilled for your dinner. Now let us know your favorite tourist perks.
Posted on: Fri, 23 Jan 2015 11:30:01 +0000
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