#5916 This is how it ends, I feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream. Fading out again, I feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream. So tell me when it kicks in. Well, tell me when it kicks in. I try to focus on my studies. I try hard. But Im always intoxicated. Full of love. Im always in love, I always think about love. Love fills every fibre of my being yet this love I feel is poison. Voices in my mind always remind me of regrets, of past happiness and broken hearts. Oh, Im a mess right now Inside out Searching for a sweet surrender But this is not the end Its not the end of my misery. Of my suffering. Every day in Ateneo is torture to me. I try to forget, but the skeletons in my closet refuse to stay inside and forever haunts my thoughts. I try to make friends, yet I am always held back. Every person that knows me knows a mask. I love, I have loved, and I have regretted. I admit, Im depressed. Depression wrought from love. Broken down and barely hanging on, its taking everything to carry on. I try, I try my hardest. But I always end up wishing to see the end. I struggle, yet everything is futile. Innocence is fleeting, yet Death stays true forever. I didnt know what hate felt like, not the hate that comes after love. Its huge and desperate and it longs to be proved wrong. And every day its proved right it grows a little more monstrous. If the love was passion, the hate will be obsession. A need to see the once-loved weak and cowed beneath pity. Disgust is close and dignity is far away. The hate is not only for the once loved, its for yourself too; how could you ever have loved this? I have loved, and I hate myself for it. I still love, and I hate myself even more. What is hate but the expression of a love once burning bright? I love still, and it hurts me all the more. The more I love, the more I die. Despite this, I live. There are many in Ateneo with hidden depths. Just like me. Just like all the others who have decided to surrender to the end. Just like Vaughn. But I admire Vaughn all the more. Because his decision cannot be changed. Good luck my beloved. I hope to see you in a better place. Because soon, I will be joining you. Time Submitted: Tuesday, 10/14/2014, 09:43 PM
Posted on: Thu, 16 Oct 2014 09:34:12 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015