A BAD BOSS,A BAD RELATIONSHIP A BAD BOSS,A BAD RELATIONSHIP By Muyiwa Afolabi Its a popular school of thought that most times employees dont resign from their companies; they actually resign from or due to a bad boss. Very common today are very many employees with all kinds of complaints, animosities, criticism and ill will towards their bosses. Naturally, as people, we have our wishes and desires in life. Many of us have been through seasons of struggles, pains, disappointments and frustrations in our journeys through life. We have come to know and grown to discover, life isnt all that a piece of cake, not a bed of roses, life is indeed a complex mix of the good, the bad and the ugly. Growing up in our innocence, weve trusted and weve lost, weve tried and weve failed, weve had our backs against the wall several times and many times weve had to cry through series and seasons of agony and real hurt. Weve been let down by others, betrayed by close friends and relatives, failed others and disappointed many with high expectations from us too, and so many times we have done very silly things that hurt us so bad. Consequently we have lost confidence in ourselves, our lives, our capacities and true abilities and we hope and desperately look out for support and help from the outside, not believing we carry our real success power on the inside of us. We long for commendation and endorsement, we want to be complimented and appreciated; we search and seek for acceptance, relevance and involvement. We love to be loved, and reckoned with; we believe we are incapable of doing it all alone on our lifes journey. Many of us have assumed we could find succor and security in areas of life including, love, romance, friendships and even marriage. We seek to fill up our emptiness through associations, religion and entertainment. We sadly cant even find ourselves anymore; we have become totally suppressed by our quest for social and economic security, and the real ‘us’ has become timid, soft, sensitive and sullen. Many on the outside put up a façade of happiness, fun, excitement and confidence while deep on the inside what they really feel is abject emptiness, insecurity, loneliness and darkness. Who you see and connect with on the surface is totally different from the real person on the inside; there are two people in one. When they are out there they are admired, celebrated and envied by many. They dress well to cover up, speak well to cover up, speak religiously to appear they trust God, and acquire so many certifications and qualifications to enhance and treat their low self-esteem ailment. They feel empty, like nothing without their certificates, without their employment, without their possessions, without their families. When they are alone – with no one around, alone on their beds, late in the mid night hours, when no one can read their faces and see their fears, they connect with who they really are and acknowledge their true state; fearful, insecure and very weak. Many of us with this real complex blend of human frailty and capability are quite defensive of ourselves in every way possible. We find it hard to handle criticism and if we think we have struggled hard, attained much and achieved pretty much, we hate to be reminded of our frailties and love to be reminded of our capabilities and accomplishments. Consequently many of us in reality are not looking for a coach in a boss; were looking for a lover in our boss. We want a soft, nice, kind, understanding and pleasant boss who would be all the time willing to let us do what we like not what is right. We want a boss who is unwilling to drill us and improve us and drive us and squeeze the lemonade out of us; we want that boss who would love us, accept us and embrace us just as we are. We hope to work for that boss who would only look at the good weve achieved and the struggles weve surmounted and the achievements of our past and would just let us remain in that place of basking in past glory. We dont want that boss that will tell us were not started yet, theres more on the inside to unleash, there is more on the outside to push, there is much more to birth, create and deliver, we cant stand those bosses that want us to become better, champions and unparalleled achievers in life. We dont really like those bosses that focus on our frailties and want to help deal with our weaknesses. We want the ones who will keep saying to us that which we want to hear; the sweet nonsense about the weight and impressiveness of our CVs. That boss that would be taken in by that MBA that is now 10 years old with teachings and modules not so relevant in todays ever changing corporate climate; that 10 years old professional exam and training that through time has been upgraded about 6 different times, that course you went for abroad 5 years ago that has now been done away with and replaced with modern technology, that senior management training you attended 8 years ago and the very many trophies and accolades and awards youve received in time past. You love a boss that would treat you the way you like and show some respect on your achievements of yesteryears. My dear friend, at times in life the very things we desire are the very things capable of destroying us. Most times what you want to do, what you feel like doing, what youre most desirous of can actually truncate your possibilities, potentials and purposes in life. Have you ever really wondered if your experience with your boss today is ultimately in your interest; to make you better and more productive? Is your attitude and disposition towards this boss making you bitter or better? Dear friend, are you constantly conscious of the fact that today is the beginning of the rest of your life and what your yesterday cannot deliver today, it cant possibly deliver tomorrow? Has it dawned on you that to make your tomorrow better you must attempt new and greater feats today? Are you contented with what your efforts of yesterday has delivered today, or you are looking forward to a much better, rewarding tomorrow? Is your boss a coach or a lover? Is he killing you with kindness and you dont mind? Tell me, in truth, is your boss really that bad or you have a bad relationship with your boss? What hes doing to you and asking of you, is it altogether going to make you a better person? Are you being sentimental and emotional about this matter? Do you really want a boss that will cooperate with you on your career suicide mission? Please understand Im not saying all bosses are fantastic, Im only imploring that you check out your boss if hes truly a bad boss or you have a bad relationship with a very good boss. Where is your career headed? Can this boss train you and drill you and coach you and make you get there in record time? Are you being coached by a boss who can bring out the MD/CEO in you or that boss who would sustain and maintain the mediocrity and stagnation youre embracing? Think with me! Enjoy your day.
Posted on: Wed, 03 Sep 2014 08:25:18 +0000
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