A Fictitious meeting with Anmol Baba Right from my childhood I questioned everything, and accepted only when I received a satisfactory answer. During my childhood we were taught about many saints and other men of reverence. Having done my schooling in Mumbai, and Maharashtra which is famous for some of the well-known saints of our country, I had learnt about the lives and times of revered saints like Saint Tukaram, Saint Gyaneshwar, Saint Namadev, Saint Ekanatha, Samartha Ramdas, etc. Outside Maharashtra the names that come to my mind immediately are Dayanand Saraswati (Arya Samaj Founder), Sri Aurobindo, Ramakrishna Paramahmasa, Swami Vivekananda and many many others. All these men (and also many women) were always held in great respect and examples from their lives were worth emulating. Having been brought up in a generation where social networking meant “outside”, I always thought that saints are personalities with impeccable, blotless, immaculate character and thus commanded an outright respect. The saints of my generation were usually of the past, no one was alive during my time. But as I crossed my 30s and now in my late 40s, it appeared that there has been a mass production of “holy men” behind robes and beards who have mushroomed faster than the crows in Mumbai. We enjoyed the circus in our childhood, but circus is dead now…taken over by today’s holy men. Performing in the Circus required skill, talent and hard work. Today’s generation is endowed with another kind of circus which needs only one quality – how well you can deceive people. Robe in Public…Rape in Private. Welcome to the Circus of Godmen, Conmen and Fraudmen and also women ! A new circus is born. These go by the names of Babas and Bapus either preceded or succeeded against their names which they adopted. Probably the names which their parents so lovingly called them were not good enough. As I had never met a Godman in my life, I thought here is a life time, make or break opportunity to meet a man who can change my life and answer all my questions. So I decided to visit one of his Ashrams. I considered myself a “Murkh” (illiterate fool) and went ahead. Here I was visiting the Ashram of Anmol Baba. As I reached his Ashram I was accosted by a security guard (SG); SG : Kidhar ja rahe ho Murkh : Anmol se milna hai SG : Anmol nahin, unka naam izzat se liya jaata hain Anmolji Baba Kaho Murkh : Yeh to bahut bada naam hai. Bahut Bada aadmi hoga SG : Desh Videshon se haazaro, lakhon, karodo log milne aate hain unse. Murkh : Kyan main unhe sirf Baba keh sakta hoon. SG : Chalo Thik hain, par andar nahi ja sakte ho, Baba ab aaram farma rahe hain Murkh : main unke liye intezaar karoonga SG : To thik hain, agar Baba ki agya ho, to hi aap andar ja sakte ho The posh ashram premises gave me an impression that he must be a really big man, and I was hoping against hope that I do get an opportunity to meet him. Then after a long wait, I heard the SG calling me and after a body search more virile than the CISF guys at Airports, escorted me inside. After a lot of pleading and sob stories, I was allowed to get a glimpse of this “holy cow, sorry holy man” (cows are useful animals, cannot compare a cow with him) The posh premises of Anmol Baba (AB), sitting like a king on a throne surrounded by a coterie of appeasers, both men and women, who sang, danced and did everything as per the wishes of their “master” was a sight straight out of Gaddafi’s durbar or something similar to Gabbar Singh in Sholay while relaxing under the beats of “Mehbooba Mehbooba”. AB : Bol bachche, kya samasya hain I was in my late 40s, closer to my grave than ever before, and here was someone calling me “bachcha”; Well, we are all bachchas in front of this “I know all man” Murkh : Babaji – Disha dikhaiye, Bhatak gaya hoon AB : Tu bilkul sahi jagah aaya hain bachche, yeh duniya ek chakravyuh hain; Jo Baba ke paas nahin aaya, use sahi disha kabhi prapt nahi hoga. Par kya tune daan peti mein kuch rakha hain Murkh : Daan peti, who kya hota hain AB : Are saare sansaar ka bhaar sambhal raha hoon, kya tujhe mera koi khyal nahin Murkh : Kshama karna Baba, galti ho gayi. Kahan hain daan peti. AB : Daan peti to darwaze ke paas hain. Ab to main technology ka sahara lene wala hoon I was impressed on hearing about technology from Baba. Was eager to know what this technology is all about, so I asked him Murkh : kaisi technology AB : Paise daan peti mein dalne ke baad hi darwaaza khulega, aur agar kam paisa daloge to andar to aa jaoge, par bahar ka darwaaza hamesha ke liye band ho jaega. Murkh : Babaji, ek minute…main to Rupiye daan peti mein daal diya hai. AB : To bus bahar ka darwaaza khulla hain Murkh : Par babaji, mere samasya ka kya hoga; Main bahut confused hoon AB : Ham uparwale ke sewak hain. Hume Bhagwan ne is kalyug ke logo ki samasya door karne ke liye hi prithvi mein bheja gaya hain. Saare galat raah pe chal rahe hain. Unhe disha dikhane hum khud dharti pe aaye hain. Murkh : To kya aapne swarg dekha hain AB : Hum jahan jaate hai, wohi swarg hain bachcha, bus sahi apsara ki talaash rahti hain hume Murkh : Kya aap Apsara dhoondne, dharti par aaye hain AB : (Thodisi Krodhit hokar) Tujhe gyan ki sakht zaroorat hain. Tu Murkh hai, warna Baba ke bare mein aisa nahin sochta. Poocho kya puchna chahte ho (I thought in my mind; I am definitely a Murkh, else why should I come here) Murkh : Log Ram ko Bhagwan kyon mante hain aur Ravan ko shaitan. Main to Ravan ka bhakt hoon. AB : Isiliye to yeh, kalyug hain, saare Ravan ke bhakt ban rahe hain. Murkh : Baba, par Ravan ne Sita ke saath koi glalat kaam nahi kya. Ravan chahte the to Sita ko dhal banakar yudh jeet sakta tha, par Ravan ne aisa kuch nahin kiya aur Ram ko apni patni pe vishwas nahi tha, isliye Sita ka Agnipareekha dena pada. AB : Yeh, Ram aur Ravan ka personal mamla hain. Main unke personal mamlo pein comment nahi karta. Agla sawaal. Murkh : Kya Biwi ko jue (gambling) pe lagana sahi hain AB : Chi, chi, chi…paapi, dusht…kaisi baat kar raha hain. Jua bahut galat cheez hain, kabhi nahin khelna chahiye. Murkh : Par Yudhisthir ne to Draupadi ko jue pe lagaya tha, phir hum use Bhagwan kyon maante aur Krishna chupke se sab kuch dekh raha tha AB : Jo bhagwan karte hain use jua nahi kahte bachche. Yeh privilege sirf Bhagwan ko aur hamare jaise unke sewak ko hi hai. Tu anjaan hain. Agla sawaal Murkh : Suna hain ki Krishna nadi kirane jakar Gopion ki kapde chupa leta tha. Agar main aisa karoon to Mumbai Police section 354 impose karega mujhpe. Aisa kyun AB : Police tere jaise paapi insaano ke liye hote hain, na hi Bhagwan ke liye aur na hi hamare jaise Bhagwan ke sewak ke liye. Agla sawal Murkh : Bahut saal pahle aapne suna hoga “Ganesh Doodh pi raha tha”. Kya aap iske bare mein kuch jaankari de sakte hain AB : “Anmol Swami ka chamaatkar, Ganesh piye Doodh ki dhaar” Murkh : Par aap to Anmol Baba hain, swamy nahin. AB : Hamare profession mein bhi hierarchy hota hain. Hum pahle Swamy the, par Ganesh ko doodh pilane ke baad, humara promotion hua, aur hum “Baba” ban gaye Now, I am scratching my head Murkh : Par Baba, Ganesh doodh pene wala kahani, to samjhaya gaya tha ki “surface tension” ke karan hai. Usme to koi chamatkar wali baat nahin hai AB : Tu sachmuch murkh hain. Are hum saare tension door karte hain, to yeh “surface tension” kaun si badi baat hain. Chaal lekar aa mere paas surface tension, use bhi door kara doonga. Now, I was convinced that I am a real Murkh…all my efforts in learning surface tension in my physics class in school were brought to a naught. Murkh : Ek Aakhri Sawaal. Kya non veg khana thik hain AB : Chi, chi,chi…kya hamara pet kabarestan (graveyard) hain. Non veg bilkul khana nahin chahiye. Aap rape karo, loot maar karo, land grabbing karo, murder karo…par non-veg kabhi nahin khana bachche. Murkh : Main bhi aap jaisa Baba banna chahta hoon. Yeh, education to kuch kaam ka hi nahi raha. Aap ka gyan aur jo hume sikhaya jaate hain, wo kitna alag hain. Main bhi Baba banna chata hoon…please AB : Baba banna sabki bus ka baat nahin hain. Pahle to aapko apna maa-pitaji ka dia hua naam badalna hoga. Uske baad, dadi (beard) badana hoga, Uske baad, aapko bahut saari acting karni padegi aur aisa dikhana hoga ki duniya aap se hi shuru hoti hain or aap se he khatam hoti hain. Current trend ka pata bhi hona chahiye. Jaise, pariksha ke wakt, aap ke paas aisa ek tel (hair oil) ho, jo sar pe lagane se memory bad jaegi, ya aisa kuch mantra ho, jise jap ne se aapko textbook padne ki zaroorat hi nahin. (Yeh aapko koi nahin puchega, ki Baba aap kitne pade ho). Are logo ko “quick solution” chahiye, aasan raasta chahiye, who raasta galat kyon na ho. Aur satsang mein bahut sare “funde” dene honge, aur aapka nazaar tez honi chahiye, phir aap door baithi apsaara ko dekh sako aur unka samasya ka khaas khyal kar sako, statsang ke baad. Aur agar kabhi fanse to hospital ke saath tie up honi chahiye ke aap admit ho jao, jaldi se, taki police arrest na kare aapko. Bolo kar paoge. Hamare desh ka kanoon Baba ke liye alag hain aura am junta ke liye alag. Is kanoon ka khub faida uthao. Baba ki suno, Desh Bachao. Murkh : Kitna talent, skill aur mahnat lagta hain Baba banne ke liye. Aur aajkal competition bhi kafi hain. Shayad IAS officer banna Baba banne se zyada aasan hain. Yeh to mere jaise murkh kabhi nahin kar sakta. Aap se bahut gyan prapt hui, mere saare samasya ka solution mil gaya mujhe. Baba aap aatma nahin, Mahatma ho. Dhanyawad Baba. Jai ho Anmol Baba ! Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental and unintentional. *******
Posted on: Sat, 07 Sep 2013 04:14:28 +0000
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