A) TITLE: Reasonable man EPISODE: 23 Flow make we go Ade salon, i wan go ask am how many of the necklace wey him don sell, u know say since i give am the Necklace i never collect any money for him hand Man said the following evening as we sat outside. make we go, i wan barb my hair sef Brainbox said. me i wan sell one phone for Ade Bigie said. I, Man, Brainbox and Bigie were off to Ades barbers shop. What we never knew was that someone would be arrested by the Police that evening. An arrest i saw coming. I know say Ade go don sell plenty necklace for me Man Joyously said as we walked towards Ades shop. Bigie where the phone wey you wan sell for Ade? I asked Bigie. see am here He brought out a fine Camera phone that i guessed could be worth 25k. Bad boy!! where you thief this one from na? Man said, you dey mad, na ur papa be thief, u don ever catch me dey thief before? Bigie replied. Come to think of it, Bigie said the truth, he had never been caught red handed before. He was as swift as the wind. That goes a long way to explain the Pidgin English adage that says: all of us dey take meat for our Mama pot, but na person wey dem catch nahim be thief. We got to Ades Barbers Shop to meet the shop scanty, Ade why ur shop dey like dis na, you wan travel? Bigie asked. no oh, i no wan travel, only say things hard, market bad Ade complained. ehnn, i bring market come for you sef, na dis phone, i wan sell am Bigie handed the phone over to Ade. Ade looked keenly at the phone and asked, How much?. okay Bring 17k Bigie said, na 13k i go give you for this phone Ade replied. okay just add 1k wey i go use buy beer for my guys Bigie concluded. Ade collected the phone, put it into his pocket and said, wait make i barb dis person finish, i go pay you half of the money for the phone. Me and Flow sef wan barb oh Brainbox informed Ade. Ade how far? How many necklace you don sell? Man asked. i never sell anything oh, the necklace no dey move market, i go give you back sef Ade replied. As Ade said that, i saw that Mans formerly joyous look suddenly turned pale. As if he just drank a cup of urine. Soon, it was Brainboxs turn to have his hair cut. Althrough, i noticed Brainbox eyes were focused at Ades Money drawer that was partially open. Next, it was my turn to have my hair cut. As i sat down and Ade started cutting my hair, i took a glimpse at the open drawer to see that Money was flowing like a river in it. Little wonder Brainbox constantly focused at the drawer. But i knew no matter how long Brainbox admired the money, he dared not try stealing them, unless he wanted the fetishistic Ade to turn him to a Goat or a tuber of Yam. Ade was in the business of miraculously turning those that came to steal money or phones from his shop to either a Goat or a tuber of Yam, depending on which would be best for the person. As for Brainbox, a Goat would be best for him, considering the fact that his gootee gave him a He-Goat look. But one thing was sure, the same Ade that turned someone into a Goat or a tuber of Yam, was the same Ade that would reverse the action. Ade had gone half way cutting my hair when Judgement day came. Plural of Ekelebe is Elelebes. So many Ekelebes stormed the shop. I felt my heart melting. if you move, I shot!! One of the Policemen brought everybody to a standstill. Adewale, you are under arrest for having a hand in the murder of Chief Ogbonna, you have the right to remain silent as anything you say or do will be used against you in the court of law A Policeman quoted. One of the Policemen handcuffed Ade. Are you all his friends? A Policeman asked. no oh!! We all chorused. no oh, since wey my Mama born me, na today be the first day wey i dey enter dis barbing salon Man said fidgety. I saw from the corner of my eyes that Brainbox drew closer to Ades Money drawer. Since i knew what Brainbox was capable of, i concluded that all the money in the drawer were as good as gone. All of you leave this shop now, the shop will be locked One of the Policemen ordered. but Officer, Ade never barb my hair finish na I almost said. I looked at myself in the Mirror, a beast looked back at me. I looked more like Papa Ajasco. As the shop was locked by one of the Policemen, i cried bitterly because of my funny haircut. i no fit go house with dis rubbish rat chop haircut oh I said to myself. Rat chop indeed, it really looked like where Rats feasted. I never knew my problem was the least compared to the problems of my friends. As the Police van zoomed off, i heard, yeeeeeeh!! my phone dey with Ade and them don arrest am, That was Bigie. yeeeeeeh!! All my Necklace dey inside the shop, That was Man. An Evening too many. To be continued....
Posted on: Thu, 11 Sep 2014 14:23:06 +0000
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