A VISIT TO UNILAG So I was seated jeejely waiting for someone. This dude comes along beaming smiles all over. From his look I could tell at a glance he’s from that church where a bride on her wedding day must dress drabber than a Nun. (If you call dem name na you sabi o!) Dude sits beside me in the quadrangle. He says “This weather is fine o, abi?” Me, no response, full attention riveted on my faithful companion the Blackberry. Dude obviously didn’t get the memo. “You’re really enjoying this breeze o.” Me, no response. Pinging away and smiling at a joke someone sent. Silence. Dude really has a stubborn streak in his genes. “So as I was saying, this your hair… it’s natural abi?” Me, no response. Stubborn Dude, “Hello Sir….” Me, curtly, “Hi.”(That should have been your opener, jerk.) “I was saying….” My phone rings. I begin to nod my head to Baddo’s “Se ko wale? Ko duro soke”. Dude continues “You can pick your call.” (As if I needed his permission.) Me, “it is a text message.” I continue to nod my head to the music. “You’re not reading the message?” (E ‘consign’ you?) Me, “I ALWAYS allow the music to play out, because I enjoy it very much.” “Okay.” “Or is it disturbing you?” “Haaa! No ooo!” (As if I care.) So we both listened to the full track from Baddo Olamide. The track plays out and Dude kick starts again. (He nor dey taya ni?) “I like your hair.” Me, curtly “Thanks.” “It’s natural abi?” “Yes it is, or does it look like ‘weave on’?” “No, just asking… I know some people do something to it….” Silence. But Dude really get time for me sha. “But why is it so long?” “It’s not ‘sooo long’, it’s just touching my shoulders.” “Okay, why is it long?” “For the same reason why these trees are so tall. God made them to be like that. He made my hair luxuriant and fast growing.” “Okay, but why don’t you cut it? It’s not good….” “You’re saying what God made is not good?” “No ooo! It’s just that… it doesn’t look good.” “So what God made doesn’t look good TO YOU?” “Emm… emm… not like that.” Silence. I thought I have won. “So what do you do? Are you an entertainer?” (Holy Moses!) “Why are you dodging from answering my last question?” “What question?” “You said what God made doesn’t look good even though God made it so.” “No, you see… it’s like….” His phone rang. “Hello… okay….” He cuts the line. “I have to go now, have a nice day.” (Saved by the bell when I now have time for him.)
Posted on: Tue, 20 Aug 2013 09:04:33 +0000
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