A couple of years ago I was bullied. Not for the first time, I was a plain and geeky child and so I suppose I should have been used to it. Funny how we assume that bullying will end as we get older, but bullies get older too. For unknown (and as yet undisclosed) reasons I was ostracised by a clique. I had no idea why I was being ignored and snubbed, and at first I tried to ignore it, but thats never easy. Im crushingly introverted and that means that if manage to be social I can sometimes get it badly wrong and put my foot in it. Sometimes whilst Im fighting my flight mechanism Im aware I must come across as frowny or snippy or even a know-it-all, but thats just the sharp edge of panic. I tried desperately to remember if Id made a mistake during one of these times, but came up with nothing. Going over it again and again in my head made it worse and I became convinced it was all my own fault and so I opted to avoid all such events and occasions from then on. I kept hoping that theyd just stop what they were doing and start talking to me. I didnt need an apology or an explanation I really just wanted it to stop. It never did. It has since actively held back my career as the snub has been deep, openly negative and personal. Now someone I love is going through the same thing with different people and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. The trouble with bullies like this is that they dont see that they are bullying. They bury themselves deep in the grave of justification until it makes them cold to their bones. They dont care how much they hurt people, because they honestly believe they are in the right. They would rather stay buried in their cold and suffocating holes than see what they are doing and lift themselves into the light. Now thats a real horror story. Let it go.
Posted on: Fri, 31 Oct 2014 09:57:27 +0000
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