In light of Robin Williams death and his struggle with depression, I feel it is necessary to explain how serious depression/anxiety is. We all are depressed from time to time, but there are people who live with it all the time and its a terrible thing. Its like having an itch that you cant reach, It persists and drives you nuts. The things you need need to do to combat it are the exact things your brain is telling you not to do, so Its a major uphill battle. For me its always there in the back of my mind even when Im at the top of my game, its just easier to distract yourself form it at certain time when things are going well. There are even points in time where I can recall a feeling Ive had with such vivid detail that Ill dig that that feeling again, so you try to maintain a barrier from those thoughts by distracting yourself. Ill try to explain some things that have helped me (and it may only be unique to me), but part of the reason Ill sleep all the time when I get to very low points-- is that its an escape; not only when youre sleeping, but as soon as you wake up too. For the first half hour or so after waking up your brain is in reboot mode, so you actually feel normal for a little while and often Ill force myself to cat-nap specifically for that reason. I also find myself multitasking by doing things like reading & cooking, watching something & listening to music, playing a game & watching something at the same time. Ill do all this at once because if theres no downtime, its a lot less likely that youll dredge up those feelings. Depression has also made me an addict because I chase those moments of momentarily happiness to help me get through the day. Ill find something that I enjoy and Ill do it obsessively to chase that feeling, weather it be eating something I enjoy, reading books I love, playing games I enjoy or watching stuff on Netflix. On top of all of that Im oversensitive and I get too attached and Ill let the smallest of things hurt me. Ill say something stupid and think Ive annoyed someone and its literally in one ear and out the other for them, while Ill lay awake in bed wondering if theyre mad and Ill snowball the smallest things into some epic problem (in my mind). Eventually, Ill convince myself to talk to the person that I though Ive wronged and theyve moved on right after I said whatever I said. Sorry for this wall of text and even more sorry for my terrible grammar. If this helps just one person understand a little better, Ill be a very happy person.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 20:26:33 +0000
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