A little Monday morn humor A LITTLE HOLY HUMOR During these serious and troubled times, people of all faiths should remember these four great religious truths: 1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as Gods Chosen People. 2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world. 4. Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store. GOOD SAMARITAN A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do? A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, I think Id throw up. DID NOAH FISH? A Sunday school teacher asked, Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ? No, replied Johnny. How could he, with just two worms. THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldnt remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, The Lord is my Shepherd, and thats all I need to know. UNANSWERED PRAYER The preachers 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. Well, Honey, he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. Im asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon. How come He doesnt answer it? she asked. BEING THANKFUL A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, So your mother says your prayers for you each night? Thats very commendable. What does she say? The little boy replied, Thank God hes in bed! ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, And all girls. This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls? Her response, Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying All Men! SAY A PRAYER Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmothers house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer. said his mother. I dont need to, the boy replied. Of course, you do his mother insisted. We always say a prayer before eating at our house. Thats at our house. Johnny explained. But this is Grandmas house and she knows how to cook. THE BIBLE Did you know that... When you carry the Bible, Satan has a headache. When you open it, he collapses. When he sees you reading it, he faints. Lets read the Bible every day so he keeps on fainting. Maybe one day hell have a stroke and never wake up. And did you also know that when you are about to forward this email to others, the devil will discourage you, but forward it anyway .
Posted on: Mon, 10 Mar 2014 12:22:28 +0000
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