A true friend would never, ever even think of discarding or abandoning a person for expressing anger or frustration at them, whether the anger was founded or not. (Anger and abuse are not at all the same thing.) However Narcissists will rage, discard, and smear at the smallest hint of someone being angry or upset with them, even if its about something very serious or hurtful that they did, BECAUSE of the fact that its a blow to the ego for them. They will also rage and discard when someone does something wrong to them, WITHOUT having any desire to work through it or talk about it, and theyll also do this even if the person didnt actually do anything wrong, but it might have SEEMED to the N. like they did something wrong. For Narcissists, any anger, embarrassment, shame, or guilt they feel results in an instant reaction of devaluing, raging at, or discarding the other person. (The picture that comes to mind for me: Many years ago, a group of youngsters were standing around while one kid tried to do tricks with his skateboard on the curb. He couldnt get the trick right, and then slipped and fell; several of us giggled, not with contempt but with camaraderie, saying are you okay?; the kid picked up his skateboard and whipped it as hard as he could at me. His ego was already so swollen he couldnt handle being seen falling down, and he interpreted the chuckles as contemptuous because of his own extreme embarrassment and shame: instant rage, instant meltdown, instant lashing out in an extreme way. ) They are hyper-protective of their image, ego, resources, possessions, and comfort, but NOT protective of other people or other peoples lives, reputation, possessions, emotions, health, or dignity, so when theyve done someone wrong to someone, whether its severe or trivial, they cant STAND hearing anything about it AT ALL and have zero qualms about lashing out or discarding another human being. Its simply where their compulsions and priorities lay.
Posted on: Sat, 08 Nov 2014 17:46:08 +0000
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