ALL SINGLE LADIES: My single, English friend David jokingly wrote this as an advertisement to let him stay in America (since his visa is up). I begged him if I could post this, because it was so funny. If any wedding should come from this, I expect to be invited and have any offspring named after me ;-P. Here it is: *** INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY SEEKS GREEN CARD WIFE -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thirty-something Englishman seeks Catholic wife in possession of American citizenship and all the virtues listed in Proverbs 31. The gentleman in question, David, has a steady job, medical insurance and owns his own car. He still has most of his own hair and is in possession of all his teeth, English dentistry not withstanding. If you pass through initial screening and are short-listed, you will share many delightful evenings together at Shakespeares Pub. There you will have the opportunity to get to know each other over a plate of fish and chips (no sharing!) and a pint of nice, warm, English beer. As the friendship blossoms, the period of courtship will be brief and devoid of all unnecessary feelings talk. The developing relationship will most likely prove fertile ground for new articles in Davids Catholic Dating series posted at RestlessPilgrim.net. A waiver will therefore need to be signed by you prior to each date. As well as receiving an engagement ring and Davids promise of unconditional love, acceptance of a proposal of marriage will additionally lead to the wearing of a crown on the wedding day, courtesy of the Byzantine Rite. Ladies, youve wanted to be a princess your whole life - nows your chance. Great things can happen when you say Yes (Luke 1:38)... In day-to-day married life, David promises to ask for very little. All he requests is a nice cup of tea each morning, the occasional opportunity to watch the Star Wars and absolutely no clever comments concerning the American Revolutionary War. With regards to offspring, David is open to life and is hoping for at least enough children to form a string quartet and, possibly at a push, a Spice Girls Tribute Band. All babies will be guaranteed to have exotic accents, thus allowing for impressive group costumes each Halloween (Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Downton Abbey etc) All applications should be sent by email to thisrestlesspilgrim@gmail, together with your sacramental records and a written recommendation from your spiritual director. ***
Posted on: Wed, 30 Apr 2014 22:43:54 +0000
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