Advice on Marriage A sister wrote this email to me: “I am getting married next month. Had my nikkah 7 months ago. Can I ask you for your humble advice regarding this new relationship?? I come from a cultural family and I need good advice from a man with knowledge. I hear that mistakes done in the beginning in the marriage are what makes a person suffer later. I confess dealing with the opposit...e gender isn’t easy. We are wired so differently. Anything youd like to advise me with, if you have time?” This was my response: Dear …. : thanks for your email and congratulations. 1. Before we are divided into genders we are humans and what is applicable to human need for respect, dignity, self-realisation is applicable to men as it is to women. So, treat your husband with respect, even if disagreement arises between you two. 2. Connect with his parents and treat them with respect. If they are pleased with you they will expectedly be on your side and he will value you more. 3. Create as much mutual good experiences with him that would accumulate into emotional capital in both of your account: travel together, eat together, read books together etc. its such experiences that turn into wonderful memories, especially in difficult times. 4. Listen to him when he speaks, as you would love him to do when you speak. 5. Let him know how you feel about things you don’t agree with and show this within the overall frame of love, tact and respect. 6. Read about and listen to the experiences of others about marriage, husbands and wives etc. and certainly ask for advice. But never compare and contrast, and always remember that every experience is different – be grateful with what you have. Again congratulations and wish you all the best. Hesham
Posted on: Wed, 26 Nov 2014 11:13:36 +0000
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