All right, children - time for your weekend SHAGGY DOG ... and I warn you: this ends in what has to be one of the most excruciating puns of all time. The King was desperate. His daughter had been spirited away by the evil Baron Bruzhenski who was holding her captive in his castle. The King and his entire court set off in hot pursuit, but got to the castle too late; the portcullis was down and the drawbridge up. Around the castle was a moat some 20m wide, a foul stretch of green water. The only possible way across was a row of stepping stones, but the moat was relentlessly patrolled by two huge, bright yellow hands protruding from the water that moved silently without stopping, the fingers clenching and unclenching in anticipation of some-ones foolish rescure attempt. The King hissed at his squad of knights: What the hell are you waiting for? Get across there! Rescue my daughter and great will be your reward! Mega-reluctantly the knights moved out on to the stepping stones, but only managed to get half-way across. The huge yellow hands thrashed into sight and proceeded to shred the knights. There was nothing left ... Furiously the King ordered more of his courtiers to be brave and step forward. Valiantly they strode onto the stepping stones, breaking into a run. It was all to no avail. They, too, were ripped to shreds. To cut a long story short, some 200 courtiers later, the King was left with two quivering young pages who had only been in his employ for a couple of days. Soiling their doublets as they did so, they moved out onto the stones, moving more and more quickly until - ! They made it to the other side! They ran up the stairs encountering no resistance and RESCUED THE PRINCESS!! (Pause for cheers) They brought her safely down and restored her to her father! Of course, there HAS to be a moral to the story: Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers ...
Posted on: Sat, 01 Feb 2014 14:40:52 +0000
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