All the insects in the hive broke out in a fight – that explains all the black-eyed bees. Certainly explains all the buzz on 911. It had been Ladies Night, and some of them had too many Stingers. (Yes, I know worker bees are all female.) A few ethnic WASPs tried to crash the party. Beelieve me honey, there must have been some stinging remarks to get the bees buzzing and ready to rumble! Some of them will be booked into their cells. Before my wife got a prosthetic leg, she worked as a waitress at IHOP. A friend mentioned that the “ONLY place he sings is in the shower.” I replied: “You REALLY should sing more often!" Teenage romance these days…. The kids have no Pinterest in each other. Not even a Flickr. Famous words from the Bard (or is that barred): • Three men were walking down the street when one walked into a bar – the other two ducked. • Two Irishmen walk out of a bar……. No, Really! It Could Happen! (Remember, an Irishman is not drunk as long as he can hold onto a blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth!) • Schrödinger’s cat walks into a bar …. or does he? • A giraffe walks into a bar and says, “The Highballs are on me !!”. • A dog with a bandage on his foreleg walks into a bar and announces “I’m looking for the guy that shot my paw.” • Three men walk into a bar, all bearded and all wearing turbans, and so the barman says, “What is this, some kind of Sikh joke?” • John Kerry rides his horse into a bar and the bartender asks “why the long face?” Kerry says; “Well, they tell me it runs on my fath--” “I was talking to the horse !” • Gay deer walks out of a bar and says “I can’t believe I blew 20 bucks in there.” • A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we don’t serve vegetables in here.” The mushroom replies, “But I’m a fun guy (fungi).” • A priest, a rabbi, a monk, a blonde, a brunette, a redhead, an Englishman, an Irishman, and a German all walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?” • A sandwich walks in to a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says, “We don’t serve food here.” • A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a ………… ……… ………… ……………… ….. ….. ….. beer.” The bartender asks, “Why the long paws?” Nothing in the world is friendlier than a wet dog. Kids who try to get out of gym class are in the Fitness Protection Program. If I am in a location where there is no cell reception, how do I answer the call of nature? Down at the cemetery, they made a grave mistake. The other day on-line, I clicked on the shopping cart and my mouse wobbled and pulled to the right.
Posted on: Tue, 11 Jun 2013 21:24:47 +0000
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