As of January 4, 2015 at 6:55 pm Eastern standard time, I do not give Facebook or any entities associated with Facebook permission to use my pictures, information, search through my garbage, hide under my bed while I’m asleep or write an unauthorized biography of me and arrange a book signing session in a suburb not accessible for me by public transport. By this statement, I give notice to Facebook it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, distribute, steal my DNA and clone me in triplicate and make me perform in Cirque du Soleil as some sort of poor white trash balancing act, make an action figure of me wearing tights and holding a plastic picnic fork and sell on E Bay or sneak up behind me and give me a wedgie while I’m standing at the bus stop talking that Librarian I’ve been trying to impress since Winter. The content of this (being my) profile is private and confidential information, apart from the 500 odd friends and complete strangers who clearly see it, and also their friends and the friends of their complete strangers or their friends who are just completely strange. The violation of privacy can be punished by law (UCC 1-308- 1 1 308-103 and the Rome Statute) and by Mr and Mrs Smack who will make a short, unpleasant trip to Bot Bot land. NOTE: Facebook is now a public entity with a very nice washroom, except it’s out the back and you have to take a torch if it’s a dark night. All members must post a note like this. If you prefer, you can copy and paste this version. If you do not publish a statement at least once it will be tactically allowing the use of your photos, as well as the taking of your first born by gypsies, and the information contained in your profile status updates will be accessed by Christopher Pyne who will find out where you live and call upon you in the small hours and instigate a tickle fight with you in your pyjamas. DO NOT SHARE. You MUST copy and paste. If you just share you’re a lazy cow and you’re not really into protecting the mindless garbage you spew across Facebook every day to bore everybodys wobbly bits off with . I mean, who cares about what filth you ate for lunch in some rat infested café or whose fat arse is on the beach beside you, as long as no one tries to pinch it. The photo, that is.
Posted on: Mon, 05 Jan 2015 12:44:48 +0000
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