As you all know I lost my brother this week. Donnie Allen. So over the last few days I thought about all the different stages of our life that we shared. I am always saddened when someone .. let alone Donnie feel so overwhelmed that they think they are alone. I laid in bed this morning thinking about the times I called him again and again.. I knew in my gut he was in his dark place again. But we had been down that road a lot of times.. I just think this time he felt too lost to find his way back.. or didnt have the strength to fight it anymore. I understand getting weary. GOD knows I do. But it just pains me to think that Monday I sat at his house. in my car. I called him to see if he was there. (I knew the answer to this before I called.. I was looking at his car.. but as I have learned it can create a somewhat uncomfortable event for any of his sleep over guests if I just pop in) .. He told me he was working on a closing.. so I thought either he didnt want to hang ..or that if I saw him.. I would know what was a foot and he didnt want to deal with that.. whatever it was .. there I sat ..looking at his door.. I drove off.. and in my heart . my soul.. I knew something was not right.. but as I have learned in life .. all you can do is be there for someone .. show them they have a hand to help ... but you cant force the hand on them. We all have paths to walk in this life.
Posted on: Thu, 05 Jun 2014 18:38:22 +0000
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