At the age of 18 is when we first met, You declared your love in a way I will never forget. I believed in you with my innocence of youth, a wolf in sheeps clothing, nothing you said was the truth. You promised to love me forever to the end, never would you hurt me, you were my protector, my friend. You overwhelmed me with attention, gifts and praise, Like a puppy dog I clung to you, it was acceptance I craved. I did not know any better I thought you were sincere, I just wanted someone to love me and be near. I fell quite nicely in the trapped that you laid, I now realize it could have been my grave. The first time you struck me I thought It would be the last, after all you had such a rough life in the past. You told how sorry you were that it wont happen again, you cried and pleaded saying life without me may as well have been the end. Once again you showered me with all you love and affection, promising to give me love, life and protection. I believed you when you said you did not know any better, if I loved you more, perhaps I could be your intervention. Little by little I forgot my identity, my friends and family taken away from me. My life become a world that you created, you controlled everything, I even believed I was hated. With each blow to my face was a blow to my heart, each time you promising a new start. Each day was the same, you upset for no reason, walking on eggshells was my life, now scary every season. Fear was now the only thing I seemed to know, It grasped me so tightly, it had all control. It order to secure your complete domination, now you turned to our children with your intimidation. Now they could also do nothing right, I would try to intervene and you would threaten our life. Each day the darkness seemed to consume me, I cried everyday longing to be free. I would get up the courage to leave more than once, then each time the threats grew more intense. Your children will be gone and there will be nothing you can do, NO OTHER MAN will raise them I will make sure this comes true! No one will have you because you belong to me, I will kill you before I set you free. The Fear came back like a noose around my neck, pulling me tighter like I had no breath. Back into my life I let you in once again, I hated you more than ever, I thought it would never end. I stood up to you and told you, you will never hurt me or my children again, it was my final plea to you, I would no longer by quiet, this will end! For a few days I believed that perhaps it would stop, a calm before the storm, but it did not. Late night you came into our room, raped me until I bleed, You told me who I belong to, lightly I would tread. Each time you sit down you will know, that you are mine and I will not let go. I cried to my God late at night, please dear Lord make everything right, My angels heard my plea of despair, because you were arrested and no longer there. I was broken left in a thousand different parts, its taken a long time to heal make a new start. I tried many things to heal on my own, escaped into myself, into the unknown. Then like a miracle I came across a page on face book, Break the Silence against Domestic violence and decided to take a look. I reached out and realized It was no longer just me, there were others who understood, now I could break free. I told my story and no longer feel ashamed! I realized that I am not to blame! Now I will spread my wings and reach out to all that are in pain, I will share my story, my life will not be the same! We will truly heal from the darkness of the past! heal together, weave our lives with love at last. I will have courage! I will be made new!, I will not be silent this is true! To all of those out suffering and lost, lets unite together, no matter the cost! For we are survivors, warriors and our voices will be heard, lets end the pain and violence, lets soar above like a bird! Angels that have been taken from this earth to soon before their time , will now have a voice for they can use mine. Never again we will ever feel alone and afraid, Strong, United and free, Forever bold, Forever Brave! Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence! I wrote this poem and wanted to share with my sisters first! Love you guys
Posted on: Mon, 19 May 2014 22:06:48 +0000
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