At the essence of our true nature, we are naturally joyful, yet it’s as if growing up human strikes us with a case of amnesia. Our true identity is boundlessly loving, radiantly luminous, wildly openness, and unfettered in its creativity, yet because we forget who we are, we cast around for an identity that isn’t real, the identity of the Small Self. We cobble together an artificial image that we believe will make us appear lovable, valuable, successful, useful, attractive, and good enough because we have forgotten that we are inherently all that, simply because we all have within us a Divine spark that makes us inherently worthy. We spend our whole lives trying to shore up this makeshift identity that has to keep rearranging itself in order to morph to its surroundings. If anyone starts to glimpse who we really are, the Small Self scurries around, feeling scared and busted, covering up who we really are with masks. We’re terrified that if people find out who we really are, everything we’ve carefully crafted will fall apart. Once we’ve built what we consider a stable self image, we invest all of our time and energy into keeping it safe. Since it’s not genuine, it always feels vulnerable to getting “found out,” like the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz who turns out to be a little man behind a curtain. Yet the Small Self will convince you that it’s real and that you’d be nothing without it. This part of you will grasp at all the desires, thoughts, and ideas it wants and thinks, while developing aversions to anything it doesn’t want or doesn’t believe. This Small Self is always working overtime to protect its image, convincing us that we will only be happy if we get what it wants and avoid what it doesn’t. In order to protect that which the Small Self holds dear, we wind up grasping and clinging, fumbling over some sort of cosmic handle, praying that if we hold on hard enough, we’ll be able to avoid what we most fear- complete annihilation of the Small Self. As long as the Small Self thinks it can fend off uncertainty, it keeps shape-shifting. Like a used car salesman or a sleazy internet marketer, the Small Self keeps selling us on why we need it in order to stay safe. The Small Self’s whole agenda is to hoodwink us into believing that its best interests actually serve us, and it will pull any sneaky move to ensure that it succeeds. If you consider banishing the Small Self to the backseat of the car, taking it away from the wheel, it will try to seduce its way back in control by whispering in your ear things like, “Who would you be if I wasn’t here taking care of you? What would become of you if I didn’t have your back?” This is the ultimate irony, since all of our suffering stems from this troublesome but well meaning Small Self. Yet the alternative is terrifying to the Small Self. If our true nature- that of our Inner Pilot Light- replaces the Small Self as the decision maker, the Small Self loses all relevance, and a full ego meltdown is likely. The death of the Small Self can feel like actual death. We can become so identified with this false self that discovering and aligning with our true nature can feel like dying. It’s no wonder we avoid this feeling! The Small Self is so invested in keeping itself relevant that it will sabotage your health, your relationships, your career, and your happiness, but it will do so in the guise of your nurturing protector. It will do everything within its mighty power to convince you that everything would fall apart if it wasn’t in control. Your Small Self doesn’t realize that allowing who you really are to take you over is actually the portal to freedom. The death of the Small Self is the birthplace of real courage. Are you ready to be this brave?
Posted on: Fri, 08 Aug 2014 18:57:09 +0000
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