At this time of year, invariably the question comes up, “Why is there no such thing as ‘straight pride?’” Or, I hear some of my gay friends say, “Pride really isn’t my thing.” A few friends have recently posted some wise words by LZ Granderson, “Gay Pride was not born out of a need to celebrate not being straight but our right to exist without prosecution. So maybe instead of wondering why there isnt a straight pride month or movement, straight people should be thankful they dont need one.” Though true, and poignant, it didn’t quite answer the questions that have been bugging me for a few years: Why do we still hold gay pride celebrations? Are they still relevant? Every year, I almost feel an obligation to go to Pride, but why? Today, while driving between appointments for work, I was listening to a segment on KPPC’s “Air Talk,” and this very question was raised. I found myself unable to put my finger on exactly why I feel strongly about attending Pride celebrations. How could I articulate my emotional drive to participate, when I couldn’t really figure it out myself? Perhaps, I admitted, Pride was just (as one radio caller put it), “a night club in the street.” Perhaps Pride was once needed, but had grown past its usefulness? Larry Mantle, the host of “Air Talk” suggested that perhaps “pride” is the wrong word. I was deep in this debate in my head as I pulled over and entered the Post Office. The first words I heard, as I entered the building were from a 50-something year old woman, well dressed, sorting through the mail she’d just retrieved from her post office box, “It is Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.” Hearing my own name got my attention. Then hearing this ridiculously simplistic and silly argument – which I’d never actually heard muttered aloud except to mock the most extreme anti-gay activists – was shocking. But then it registered with me, she was being serious. As she continued her diatribe, directed at no one in particular, she and I made eye contact. I’m not sure if the look of shock on my face came from the pure surprise of walking into an anti-gay tirade in one of the most gay-affirming cities in the world, or from the pure coincidence of hearing an argument on the radio that perhaps Pride was no longer needed in Los Angeles, to then being in the middle of an anti-gay tirade, in the urban core of that city. “It is just how I was raised. I was raised Pentecostal, and it just isn’t right!” she continued. I scooped up my mail, and left without saying a word to her. I stood on the steps, in the shade, and started to type a quick update to the “Air Talk” page. My thoughts were, “Aha! See, homophobia still exists, so we need pride.” It didn’t feel entirely like the answer I was thinking of, but it was justification enough. I was going to say, “See! It still happens.” But, that was never in question. The question wasn’t whether homophobia still exists, but rather, why do we need celebrations in the streets, and why are those celebrations specifically labeled “pride?” The “Adam and Steve” lady came up behind me, as I stood texting my contribution to “Air Talk’s” website, and said, “It is amazing how many battles we have to fight in life, huh?” Fearing it might be best to simply smile and ignore her, I instead instinctively responded, “Yes. Sometimes those battles come as a surprise; like when I walked into this post office and heard the awful things you were saying about gay people.” “Why were you offended?” “Because I’m gay.” “Oh! Dear! I’m sorry. How was I supposed to know you were gay? How would I know what a gay looks like? You’re so handsome.” “We come in all shapes and sizes and colors. We’re everywhere. We look just like you.” “I had no idea.” I then wished her a good weekend. She took a few steps, and about a third of the way back to her car, she turned around to me and said, “I hope you have a good weekend too. You should be proud of who you are.” And with this I got my answer: Be proud of who you are! LZ Granderson was right, gay pride was born out of a right to exist without prosecution. However, today Pride lives as an opportunity for a community with a proud history to celebrate the victories of our predecessors who rioted at the Black Cat and Stonewall; remember the many people who died with dignity, while putting up a fight, as their government refused to take action; and honor the leaders and activists who have led a movement out of the shadows and onto the precipice of full marriage equality in about one decade’s time. Today, Pride is necessary because some people simply don’t think they “know what a gay looks like,” and Pride gives the LGBT community an opportunity to show many different facets of what our community looks like – from the absurd to the serious, the buttoned-up to the flamboyant, all the colors of the rainbow. We get an opportunity to show the world that we are proud to be who we are as gay people, however that manifests in the individual. Pride is a party, a celebration, and a festival because we must laugh and have fun. Pride celebrations really took hold, and were greatly shaped during the bleak and dark days when gay people were arrested simply for who they were, and followed quickly thereafter by the even darker days of the HIV/AIDS crisis. I’m reminded that sometimes we must absolutely insist on enjoying life – even when everything around us looks unbearable. Pride is as relevant today as it was in 1970, because we have all that history to celebrate, but more importantly, because we have ourselves to celebrate. We stand on a proud legacy, and simply by living our lives to the fullest, as gay people, we’re honoring the contributions of those who came before us. Today’s post office encounter ended with, “You should be proud of who you are.” I am. I’m a 35 year old gay man, and I’m proud of that. I’m proud that I have a family that loves and supports me; I’m surrounded by friends, straight and gay, that know everything about me; and I live in a community that embraces me. I’m proud of who I am, and being gay is an unalterable part of what makes me the man I am. Happy Pride!
Posted on: Sat, 07 Jun 2014 00:48:39 +0000
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