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BREAKING NEWS Live from the Utterpishandbollocks Newsroom WESLEY SNIPES TO PLAY BILLY WRIGHT IN NEW MAZE PRISON FILM Wesley Snipes is set to play loyalist prisoner Billy Wright in a blockbusting new motion picture set inside the Maze prison. Snipes, the tax-dodging star of such classics as White Men Cant Jump and Money Train, is believed to have prepared for the role whilst in McKean Federal Correctional Institution, in the state of Pennsylvania. A studio source confirmed the casting rumours in a press conference earlier today. We are going for 100% realism and authenticity on this one. Thats why we have also cast LL Cool J as Johnny Mad Dog Adair and Samuel L Jackson as Michael Stone. The film, tentatively titled The Long Keshest Yard will portray the now legendary Connect Four tournament between Loyalist and Republican prisoners. Mel Gibson directs.

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