Bah Humbug is a term used to describe folks that dont get into the Christmas Spirit. Bah Humbug applies to me, but on another holiday. My dad died on Halloween 1990. He was 71. Horribly. Asbestosis and lung cancer. He suffered to the very end. I held his hand when he died, as did mom. Some in this family felt he could do no wrong, but I was the Recipient of a lot of his frustrations and inner demons. My family does not know this. They probably wouldnt believe me anyway, so there is not much point in elaborating. Suffice to say, the scars run deep. His passing on Halloween pretty much deep-sixed any future events or celebrations on that day. Only after did October 31 start to almost rival the holidays that come later in the year, both in scope and popularity. But, we humans find a way to accept....adapt....even overcome At least, most of the time. Which brings me to the reason for this, another of my now-infamous long posts. This used to be my favorite time of year. The changing leaves, the crisp of the air early in the day. Halloween, Turkey Day, & The whole family worked on making at least one item for Christmas presents....it was a tradition. Traditions change. People change. My mom and I were best friends. Literally. There was little, if any that we didnt know about each other. We would talk til the sun came up many a night. However... We adopted a new tradition, how it manifested is lost to the years, but it was one we both partook in without exception; we would stay as far from each other as we could. Not with malice or resentment, but she could grieve for the loss of her husband. And I respected that. When she later became home bound, I would, without exception, conveniently attend a lecture, or symposium, or just head up into the hills and allow her the time she needed. We would not discuss it, nor inform each other of our plans; it was an unspoken tradition. As I was in charge of her finances toward the end, paying the bills and so on, I could see where she spent hours on the phone with her siblings. Cool. But, as is the case with all us Homo sapiens, her siblings also passed one by one. And she found herself the last of 14 to remain. Between my father passing in 90, and hers in 2010, one of her brothers, and three of her sisters also passed on Halloween. If you are still reading this novel-length post, thanks. Prepare for whats next. On March 17, I was working in my backyard, and received one of my premonitions. I used to think they were quirky. As the years progressed, and the wrinkles in my face started to show, I looked upon these visions as more of an annoyance.....even though many of them came to pass, I viewed these flashes of foreknowledge as one would shoo away a fly or mosquito...and try to not think more of them. But this one was different. I sat down on the muddy March sod and cried. After quite a bit of time had passed, I composed myself, and went in the house and put a black outline around Halloween, still 7 months distant. As the calendar pages flipped over the ensuing months, I know mom saw it, but said not a word, for About august, mom broke our silent tradition and asked if we could go out to the Oregon coast on Halloween. I mustered a smile, quickly hid tears behind my trademark sunglasses, and said sure I think she felt some line had been crossed, as she never spoke of it again. She was 81, and nothing is done on the spur of the moment at that age...but as the days led up to Halloween, nothing was said. She knew me. Probably better than anyone, yet she didnt say a word. She knew something was different about this Halloween. As did I. - My best friend, my lifelong confidant and incredibly loved mom passed that Halloween....that day that I cannot even fathom to celebrate, let alone even acknowledge. She died 20 years.....to the day.....to the hour....of my dads passing. Halloween. She was 81. Most of Tom died that day as well. The rest is academic....just more calendar pages being flipped. If you read this post carefully, you will note their ages when they passed. Job 14: Man, born of a woman....seeing his days are determined She was 81. He was 71. Halloween 2030, and Tom will be 61. There is a black circle around that day as well. ..........as I shoo away this pesky mosquito
Posted on: Sat, 04 Oct 2014 03:43:15 +0000
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