Be Ware Of Emotional Vampires______Emotional vampires are lurking everywhere and wear many different disguises–from needy relatives to workplace bullies. Whether they do so intentionally or not, these people can make us feel overwhelmed, depressed, defensive, angry, and wiped out........... Here are five types of emotional vampires you’re likely to encounter, and some “silver bullet” tips for fending them off. Vampire 1: The Narcissist. This vampire is grandiose, self-important, attention hogging, and hungry for admiration. SheHe is often charming and intelligent–until herhis guru status is threatened. Self-defense tips: Enjoy her good qualities, but keep your expectations realistic. Because herhis motto is “me-first,” getting angry or stating your needs won’t phase her. To get her cooperation, show how your request satisfies herhis self-interest. Vampire 2: The Victim. This vampire thinks the world is against himher, and demands that others rescue himher. Self-defense tips: Don’t be their therapist, and don’t tell them to buck up. Limit your interactions, and don’t get involved in their self-pity. Vampire 3: The Controller. This vampire has an opinion about everything, thinks they know what’s best for you, has a rigid sense of right and wrong, and needs to dominate. Self-defense tips: Speak up and be confident. Don’t get caught up in bickering over the small stuff. Assert your needs, and then agree to disagree. Vampire 4: The Criticizer. This vampire feels qualified to judge you, belittle you, and bolster their own ego by making you feel small and ashamed. Self-defense tips: Don’t take what they say personally. Address a misplaced criticism directly. Don’t get defensive. Express appreciation for what’s useful. Bounce back with a massive dose of loving-kindness. Vampire 5: The Splitter. This vampire may treat you like his BFF one day, and then mercilessly attack you the next day when he feels wronged. He is often a threatening rageaholic who revels in keeping others on an emotional rollercoaster. Self-defense tips: Establish boundaries and be solution-oriented. Avoid skirmishes, refuse to take sides, and avoid eye contact when he’s raging at you. Visualize a protective shield around you when you’re being emotionally attacked.
Posted on: Mon, 15 Jul 2013 03:29:21 +0000
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