Best Funny Quotes Oscar Wilde I am so clever that sometimes I dont understand a single word of what I am saying. Groucho Marx A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. Fred Allen A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done. George Bernard Shaw A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. (Thats how governments of India and USA are run ---- thanks to coalition governments) Fred Allen A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. Robert McCloskey I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but Im not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. Mark Twain It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. Henry A. Kissinger There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. Robert Frost A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. Oscar Wilde By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation. Mae West When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one Ive never tried before. Steven Wright Ever notice how its a penny for your thoughts, yet you put in your two-cents? Someone is making a penny on the deal! Charles Schulz Dont worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. Jerry Seinfeld Theres no such thing as fun for the whole family. Fred Allen I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. Groucho Marx Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot
Posted on: Mon, 19 May 2014 05:45:11 +0000