Bullying is such a hot topic in schools these days. Most of us think bullying comes in the forms of physical (pushing, hitting, etc.) or verbal (jeering, name calling, etc.). There is another form of bullying that is not so obvious. It is so passive and subtle, that most are not aware of it. Exclusion Bullying We have always known that being left out of things on purpose can cause hurt but now science is beginning to prove it. In fact the notion of feeling deliberately excluded causes the same sensation in a pain center of the brain as an actual physical injury. This is probably why we perceive deliberate isolation or being rejected as a ‘punishing blow’. Which is why being deliberately excluded can be used as a powerful bullying technique. Bullies know exclusion is a control technique. Knowledge is power and we need to be constantly informed to advance our social and work careers. So keeping you ‘out’ of the group keeps them in—and ahead of the game. It also serves to distance you from your allies. Ostracizing causes introspection and fear because we perceive exclusion from others in our peer group as being as harmful for our survival as something that can physically hurt us. Plus it is intentionally degrading. Maybe we are not cool enough or smart enough for the A group invitation. God forbid—even an embarrassment. Deliberate exclusion is a smart but cruel manipulative technique. Exclusion is insidious and dangerous. Don’t help the bully by telling colleagues you think you are being dropped. Voicing your fears will probably have the opposite effect to what you want. Out of self-preservation in a competitive world they will probably start avoiding you too. Its like a domino effect. Think Kate Moss losing all her lucrative contracts one after another. The higher you are up the chain, the more you have to lose. Something to think about.
Posted on: Sun, 01 Dec 2013 16:35:54 +0000
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