CHRISTMAS LETTER-2013 (Transcriptions of this letter will be broadcast on Radio Holfknong during the Summer Holidays) At the request of hundreds of friends and many members of my family, I humbly submit my Christmas itinerary for all to peruse. I beg your forgiveness for my turning down your sincere invitations to join you during this most joyous of seasons. You will see that my personal programme has been filled with commitments made at least two years hence. I did promise The Grande Duke that I would join him at Court and, alas, found that I had run out of excuses to meet my Obligations de state as I am to attend the many gala celebrations planned by fellow denizens and citizens of Our Faire Isle. Many of you will remember Alastair and his lovely wife, Alice, from my previous writings. They insisted that I spend my first frew days with them at their home in West Blighburgh. If the hello-goodbye trees and the gibbisch cooperate, a festive bar-be-que and stomping will be held as a reception for me at Carrs Park, adjacent to their neighbourhood. Gordon and Gilda Giraffe are in charge of the entertainment this year, so many of you know what that will be like. Theyve just made bale from the last festivity they arranged so will be in a good muddle for this one. Lord Mayor Pelican and the Towne Council insisted that I be Parade Marshal at this years Christmas Parade. I will have to make sure I am wearing the brightest of all shrouds as the Honourary Carriage makes its way along Choconut Street. I will be draped in the colours of Our Nations flag; battleship green and sweet potato orange. After the parade I am to be whisked away to some clandestine location for a good old-fashioned chortle with several Members of Parliament. I suspect the lottery was fixed this year just so I could attend this mixer with some old, old friends. I suspect that Errol Flynn had something to do with this. I hope I will be in good enough shape to attend the exciting dust-up between Upper Whytheport United and a visiting team from the Disharoons. You know how harrowing a flushing match can be during these annual Super Grande Finale World Cup Series Bowl. There were more injuries amongst the slallop vendors than those playing on the field, the last time I witnessed such an event. Ive been invited to sing the National Song at quarter time this year so I hope I remember all of the words to Auld Gang Wie Fess Na. Christmas Day will find me bowling coconuts on the matted lawns of the Grande Palace after the usual Downing-of-the Wax rite at St. Miltons. I must admit both are two of my favourite holiday pastimes. HRH always has a fit whenever his nut goes husk when bowling.. I always feel sorry for him through my veil of tears of laughter. We all do, dont we? I will try and send pictures this year if I can remember to bring my camera. The many bonfires and sing-a-rounds to be held on the beach will be too numerous and exhausting to mention, so I wont. Rest assured, however, my skinnie will be well worn out and frayed by the time the last bonfire embers are quenched. As I sit here in the studios of Radio Holfknong makiing this recording, and trying not to spill my last cup of sukow tea, I cannot but help be thankful to all of you out there who have made these last few months fill with days and weeks of joy and laughter. In spite of all of the little storms and yahoos weve encountered in our lives, we can all enjoy a universal cuddle with feelings of warmth and comfort and a sense of drying off. We know that as we care for one another, others care for us too. Above all, as we muse over our collective lives together, we must remember what every person must surely remember, no matter on which island they reside; As long as there is a Holfknong, there is hope for the world. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and may your gibbisch nips be small. 
Posted on: Thu, 21 Nov 2013 21:34:58 +0000
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