[Cardinals fans are] like an egg: a yolk of exceptionalism, arrogance, and xenophobia covered with a thin shell of Midwestern aw-shucksness that anyone who’s paying attention knows better than to trust. Any way in which baseball resembles Big Ten football is bad for the game, and in this way most of all. With that said, can you blame Cardinals fans for thinking that their team is touched by the hand of God, for believing that the Sword of the Righteous is made of wood and wielded by Matt Carpenter? A team doesn’t win as much as the Cardinals do unless it’s blessed. Want proof? The Cardinals are going to win the NL Central at a canter, and they’ve got the run differential (plus-2) of a .500 team. You want to know how many teams have outperformed their run differentials by more than the Cardinals their own have this year? Zero. It makes me sick. As if St. Louis needed any help. If the moral arc of the universe is long, but bends toward justice, then it also bends less than Josh Collmenter’s curveball, because in a just universe, the Cardinals would have been rent asunder by now. The Cardinals are a near-perfect organization with exciting players and truly bomb-ass uniforms, and I’m sick of seeing them in the playoffs every year. Let someone else have a chance. At this point, I’m hoping for divine intervention, because in the past 15 years, no earthly forces could stop them.
Posted on: Sat, 13 Sep 2014 18:09:25 +0000
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