Certainly be wary of the assault vehicle... But, have you been - TopicsExpress

Certainly be wary of the assault vehicle... But, have you been informed of the assault fork? Man that thing is dangerous! It is typically a grey-silver color and has multiple sharp protrusions. The assault fork is responsible for spreading such diseases as obesity and diabetes. Similar devices related to the assault fork include the high capacity spoon and a hybrid sub compact spork. The unrestricted use of these instruments could lead to heart burn, nausea, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea, loss of committed relationships, heart attack, stroke, or even death. BAN ALL UTENSILS!! Just to be safe.

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