Choosing the Desired Wife All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds, the Merciful, the Hearer of supplications, and peace and blessings upon our beloved and humble Prophet Muhammad e, and upon his family and companions. When marriage is spoken of during these “modern” times, Muslims become horrified, conjuring images of an arranged marriage, trying to find that “perfect” companion, how much of a financial burden it will cause, and so on. The reality is that Islam came to solve these problems, not exacerbate them, yet unfortunately we have integrated our local traditions and customs with Islam so that marriage has become a major concern for a man rather than a delightful experience. When living in a free, perverted and corrupt Western society, the Muslim male youth finds many temptations and tests, as a result of mixing with females, which he must face and overcome. He must constantly resist these temptations, which are thrown at him in the streets, on the media, and at work. And so the wisdom of the Prophet e echoes on, when he said: “O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains the eyes from casting (evil glances), and preserves one from immorality...” When seriously considering marriage, you must just pose a question to yourself as to what kind of wife you want, what her qualities should be in order to establish an Islamic and peaceful household, and how will you know who she is. As Muslims, we believe that Allah wants the best for us, and that His Prophet e illustrated this through his own life. So note that by following the advice of our own Creator, and that of His beloved servant, we can only be successful. Whom to Marry Islam is clear on the kind of wife you should be seeking. The Prophet e said: “A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status, her beauty, and her religion; so try to get one who is religious, may you be blessed.” This specifically defines just what kind of a companion we are seeking, for if we marry her for anything other than her religious piety, our marriage is bound to fall into misery. True, beauty and charm are hard to resist, yet beauty does not last forever and does not guarantee you her obedience and religious piety. Financial status is dynamic, and so is worldly status, yet religion strongly establishes a household, and it may be that through your intention of marrying her for her religion, the rest is given to you anyway. In another hadith, the Prophet e said: “The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.” Imagine! Nothing in this world is as valuable as a pious woman! This point has been stressed many times by Rasulallah e, who himself, when asked what three things he loved the most, mentioned a pious woman. Once, the following ayah was revealed: “[al-Taubah: 34-35]. Umar t has been quoted to say that, when this ayah was revealed, he approached the Prophet e, submitting that the ayah weighed heavily on the minds of the Sahaba. Rasulallah e replied that the best thing to be treasured is the devoted wife who causes pleasure when seen, obeys orders instantly and takes full care of herself and her husband’s property when he is away. Abu Bakr once asked Rasulallah e as to what was the best thing to be treasured, and he e replied: “the tongue in remembrance of Allah, the heart filled with thanks to Allah, and a pious wife who helps in virtuous deeds”. Look at how valuable such a woman is in the sight of Allah! How can a man live unhappily with such a person? Qualities of the Pious Woman Alright, you say, you’ve convinced me, but what actually makes her a pious woman? The answer is simple: Allah himself has described those qualities most loved by Him in the Qur’an, and in the a hadith there are numerous accounts of the virtuous attributes of a pious woman. The following are some ayahs on the attributes of the wife you should be seeking, so note those fine and appreciative qualities. “And women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity” [Surah An-Nur :26] “Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard” [Surah An-Nisa :34] “It may be, if he divorced you (all), that Allah will give him in exchange consorts better than you, who submit (Muslims), who believe, who are devout, who turn to Allah in repentance, who worship (in humility), who travel (for faith) and fast...” [Surah Al- Tahrim:5]. And then, in the surah Ahzab, is a full list of those qualities loved by Allah, qualities which by the way should be evident in both males and females. So, choose her for the following attributes: a Muslim woman a believing woman a devout woman a true woman a woman who is patient and constant a woman who humbles herself a woman who gives charity a woman who fasts and denies herself a woman who guards her chastity a woman who engages much in Allah’s praise. From among the four known perfect women, one was Maryam. She was loved by Allah because of her religious qualities: “O Maryam! Worship your Lord: prostrate yourself, and bow down (in prayer) with those who bow down” [Surah Al-Imran :43). Another was the wife of Pharaoh: “And Allah sets forth, as an example to those who believe, the wife of Pharaoh: behold, she said: ‘O my Lord, build for me, in nearness to Thee, a mansion in the Garden’ [Surah Al- Tahrim:11]. The Prophet e loved his wives because of their religious qualities.
Posted on: Sat, 06 Jul 2013 06:30:30 +0000
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