Could you imagine a world locked inside of a cage? Not a prison though because you have done nothing wrong; but regardless, You are forced to be there. You spend your time looking out at the world and seeing everyone else live while wishing you could be a part of the world, you reach your arm through the bar to grasp life and its just out of reach. U want so much to walk and laugh and socialize with everyone thats outside of your cage. Since thats not possible, you cry. And cry. And cry. All seems hopeless and lost. Waking up in the morning gets hard to do since theres nothing to look forward to. You are trapped and no matter how much you want to be a part of life, you just cant. You are confined within this space with no escape route -your are locked in a cage...so one day, for no apparent reason, the door to that cage is opened and you are free to engage the life you have been longing for. But there are so many options, so many things to catch up on, so much you wish u could do!! Its all so overwhelming! So you focus on doing all that makes you happy and want to absorb everything and anything that makes you happy. Buying things u want can make you happy so you lose site of the available funds since you need the happiness it brings. You end up spending money you dont have...and it seems like a great idea at the time! You let out a little of your wild side and get that tattoo you just decided yesterday that u wanted and go get a motorcycle drivers permit because this morning you thought it would be cool-even though you have never risen a motorcycle. And a tongue ring...that sounds awesome...gotta have that! You have so much to do to catch up on life that you cant even sleep. Your mind just races a million times a minute on how to stay happy. Daydreaming wears you out since you have planned how to spend the lottery in such detail that you knew exactly how every dime would be spent. And even when you are on top of the world, somehow you start seeing life go on without you again. You cant stay caught up. You try to stay caught up but no matter how hard you fight, u still start falling backwards...failing. Before long you find yourself back in the cage that you cant escape. And you watch the world continue without you while you wish you could be a part of life. Sooner or later your cage will open again...and the cycle continues. This is the world of bipolar disorder. Welcome to my world.
Posted on: Sat, 09 Nov 2013 06:58:02 +0000
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