DIVORCE; A PRODUCT OF MANY WRONGS Ladies and gentlemen, good morning. Let’s get emotional today. Let’s discuss this dreaded Seven-letter word, lets sit down and reason together why some marriages crumble like pack of cards almost immediately they get running. Let analyze why many marriages dont stand the test of time. Do you think there is no compatibility in the first place? Do you think the emotional status is parasitic? Do you think our parents have cases to answer? Do you think inexperience plays a role? Do you think extended families and in-laws are part of some of our marital woes? Do you think religion is a factor? Do you think tribal sentiments affect it? Do you think education has a role? Whatever we think, divorce is an accumulations of many wrongs. Ladies and gentlemen, relax and follow me on my analysis I never marry ooooooo but lets go... Reason 1: Fantasy Are you surprised? Dont be. Believe me; the fantasy of wearing that white gown can make you to get married to someone without scrutinizing if you two are actually compatible. To some people, getting married to celebrities or known figures in the society is the deciding factor, not compatibility. If this is what marriage is all about, then divorce will always be unavoidable when the flesh gets tired of the luxury and pleasures fades away. Reason 2: Pressure You have been told several times that all your mates have gotten married, therefore what are you waiting for? You have been reminded several times of the numbers of your friends you have bested. You have been told by friends and relatives to just get any one and make him/her your standard. You have been cajoled that when the desirable is not available, the available should become the desirable. But have you reasoned that none of these special advisers will face the marriage with you? Do you realise you have your own life to live? Do you want to suffer in silence for the rest of your life? Have you forgotten that there are some people who entered higher institutions ahead of you and you still graduated before them? Who says the children your mates who married earlier gave birth to will be more successful than the ones you will bear? Who says good children are out of circulation in heaven because those who married before you have given birth to all of them? So why are you trying to help your Pastors prophesy by marrying just anybody since you have been told that this year will not pass you by? What happens to emotional compatibility? Do you consider your future at all? Sisters and brothers, many marriages like this without genuine attachment will lead to divorce. Because once you enter into a marriage because of pressure, the same pressure will take you out of that marriage. Believe me, Had I know always end these types of marriages. I keep saying it, love is like a cloth, no matter how poor you are, you can never walk naked. No matter how old you think you are, no matter how eligible you think you are, no matter how advanced you think you are, there is somebody out there looking, searching and waiting for you. Dont allow anybody to do you a Favour and never do anyone a Favour by marrying or getting married to them. Most times, it doesnt work that way. Dont be pressured into marriage and dont pressurize yourself into marriage, the pains most times are more than the gains. Wait for your time. Reason 3: Parents Wahala Hmmmmmmmmmn. Believe me, many parents have ruined the lives of their children by forcing them to marry someone they did not have any affection for. Most parents in this category think they are helping their children; on the other hand, they are actually helping themselves and their selfish interests. The interest is always temporal, while the damage to their children can last a life time! Few factors are prerequisites to these types of helps from our parents; Family attachment, social status, club affinity, political class, religious affinity and Financial inducements. These factors have always been the reasons behind these types of arranged marriage. But in most cases, financial inducement from suitors play major role in these types of marriage. Dont tell me its an old tradition, its still happening and will continue to happen, especially to female children. Also, in most cases, our fathers have been culpable, as most mothers will NEVER allow such marriage on a “free and fair” debate. Can someone tell me how the outcome of these types of marriage will look like? How can you be forced to marry someone against your wish and be expected to still be happy? What is the difference between a caged animal and these types of marriage? Its puree of nightmare to those who have experienced it. What I surely know is that once the affected recipients get any small chance to run away, they run. Many lives have been ruined because parents forced suitors on their children. Only few people escape to tell the story. I have even seen some cases where the parents of the affected wives or husbands are not aware of what is happening. It has been purely arranged by one useless aunty or one derailed uncle. Most of the husbands of these affected women usually start well; disguising their true identity, but a while, they come in with their full Curriculum Vitaes. To the ladies who have gone through this hell of unions, I say accept my sympathy. Many of them dont want to remember it, but it has become part of their lives; they are now wiser and more focused on their career. These types of women will never rely on any man for anything, though they are still highly emotional, but they dont rely on any man for any favour again, because their first man (their fathers) mismanaged them and their second man (the arranged husbands) maltreated them. They always end up becoming highly successful in their chosen fields. Reason 4: Self-Assessment Sometimes, we believe with our level of understanding, civilization and swagger, we can choose for ourselves without involving God. We are successfully wrong. Any relationship leading to I do must be placed before God. You must pray and fast separately, you must pray and fast together and seek Gods blessings and approval first before embarking on that emotional journey. Man is nothing without God. Im not saying you should turn to prayer warrior ooooo, neither do I ask you to bind, cast, laminate and stitch all the witches from your father’s side and your mother’s side, but correlative prayers with the true knowledge and fear of God which is the beginning of wisdom is needed in this emotional journey. Because good people before do change to become bad and bad people do repent to become good. A good woman can change due to challenges and a good man can change due to pressures. No one was born perfect and no one was born evil. We all undergo many metamorphoses in life and it takes the supernatural interference to sustain this sinful natural body to remain good. That is why God must be invited first before the relationship is solidified. Brothers and sisters, alienating God in our relationships will automatically lead to crashed emotion, popularly known as DIVORCE. Ladies and gentlemen, divorce is an accumulation of negative experiences. Whenever a divorce issue is raised, check very well, either one or two or all the four reasons raised above are responsible. Though some crashed marriages can be patched and amended, but some are better to be left that way in order to save lives. See as I dey talk like say I don marry oooooo, make una no mind me jare. I still dey search oooooo. Emotional people, good morning joor.
Posted on: Wed, 29 Jan 2014 09:58:13 +0000
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